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#metoo era to avoid women at all costs

 
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Old 12-05-2018, 03:31 PM
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Old 12-05-2018, 06:50 PM
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I didn't realize JF had subscribed to my dead grandfather's news feed. How much spam are you going to post?
 
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Old 12-05-2018, 07:34 PM
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This is the ugly side of the coin, and even more dangerous. Instead of just bringing light to an issue. They have created a situation similar to the cry "Rape" craze in the 80's. I had a friend who had been with a lady for several years. Our daughters were friends as well. Annie had threatened several times to charge him with rape. If she didn't get her way. This eventually led to the end of the relationship. For no matter how much he loved the women. He just couldn't live with needing to discipline, and correct the girl, as every 13 year old girl needs from time to time, and knowing with one word she could destroy him. Whether he touched her or not. The girl later confided in my daughter, and said she wished she had never said those things, as after my friend left her Mother, things got worse instead of better, and she regretted her actions. It's the case of once the accusation is made. You are "Guilty" till proven innocent. He simply got out before it happened. This "Me Too" thing is gonna have the same effect.
 

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Old 12-05-2018, 10:59 PM
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Originally Posted by 89 Jacobra View Post
This is the ugly side of the coin, and even more dangerous. Instead of just bringing light to an issue. They have created a situation similar to the cry "Rape" craze in the 80's. I had a friend ......

I think the most likely and most frequent end result of the Me Too movement is that, simply, the more men will motivated to behave more politely, more often. We're very unlikely to hear anything about these men.

Some over-reaction will occur; the Mike Pence approach. This will eventually wane.

Equally likely is that men who have behaved poorly in the past ...and who know they've behaved poorly.....will be sleeping less peacefully.

Also equally likely is that certain opportunistic women, surely a very tiny percentage in the grand scheme of things, will use the the impetus of the movement as a convenient segue to false claims and/or vindictiveness. Mark my words, they were opportunistic and vindictive before the Me Too movement. But, the movement gives them an easier path.

FWIW, women I know who support Me Too are not interested in making life hell for men nor interested in frivolous claims. They're interested in better behavior from men and are tired of being expected to tolerate harassment (or worse) in silence.

At the end of the day I think the good will outweigh the bad.

Cheers
DD
 
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Old 12-06-2018, 02:48 AM
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Originally Posted by amcdonal86 View Post
I didn't realize JF had subscribed to my dead grandfather's news feed. How much spam are you going to post?
perhaps you could propose some rules for off topic?
 
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Old 12-06-2018, 02:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Doug View Post
I think the most likely and most frequent end result of the Me Too movement is that, simply, the more men will motivated to behave more politely, more often. We're very unlikely to hear anything about these men.

Some over-reaction will occur; the Mike Pence approach. This will eventually wane.

Equally likely is that men who have behaved poorly in the past ...and who know they've behaved poorly.....will be sleeping less peacefully.

Also equally likely is that certain opportunistic women, surely a very tiny percentage in the grand scheme of things, will use the the impetus of the movement as a convenient segue to false claims and/or vindictiveness. Mark my words, they were opportunistic and vindictive before the Me Too movement. But, the movement gives them an easier path.

FWIW, women I know who support Me Too are not interested in making life hell for men nor interested in frivolous claims. They're interested in better behavior from men and are tired of being expected to tolerate harassment (or worse) in silence.

At the end of the day I think the good will outweigh the bad.

Cheers
DD
Nice thoughts Doug, sadly it only takes one to destroy your life/career. If I was still in corporate world these days I would be sidestepping many situations I previously thought harmless or trivial or more realistically didnt even think about. Things like closed door meeting, one on one meetings, social events, offering car rides, travelling long haul flights etc Probably well down the path to discrimation I guess.
 
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Old 12-06-2018, 05:31 AM
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Here, in Europe, the situation is even worse. Not so long ago, a 66 years old man rescued a child who had fallen in a deep pool at a public park, risking his own life. The mother, smelling money, called the police and accused the man of indecently harassing her young child. After six weeks in prison, before court, the man was very, very lucky that a couple of witnesses came forward. He was released, of course. But all his life's savings went up in smoke to pay his lawyers.

I am 71. I avoid, at all cost, to get near women and / or children. If I would see a child drowning, I would call the police and claim I cannot swim.

When I go out, I go never alone, even for shopping, as malls and supermarkets have become dangerous places to visit. And, even if I do not need it, I also walk with a cane as if I were disabled. Beaches and swimming pools have become an absolute no-no for me. And, by all means, forget carrying a camera. Some 10 years ago I saved a man out of his burning car after an accident, only to be accused to have stolen the money out of his wallet. Cops, luckily, did not buy that.

So much for my two bits.

Takeo.
 
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  #8  
Old 12-06-2018, 11:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Doug View Post
...FWIW, women I know who support Me Too are not interested in making life hell for men nor interested in frivolous claims. They're interested in better behavior from men and are tired of being expected to tolerate harassment (or worse) in silence.
...
Cheers
DD
My chosen trade (Landscape maintenance) is and has always been dominated by men from top to bottom. A woman doing this work is still very unusual, even in this "age of enlightenment." Having grown up on the farm where Everyone pulls their weight and does their job, no matter age or gender, this has not been a problem; Until #MeToo.

Previous to this social phenomenon I had good working business relationships with all persons with whom I interact, from customer/client to tool/equipment salesmen to chemical suppliers, which included a broad selection of personality types and skill sets, the vast majority of whom are men.

When #MeToo hit the airwaves I thought, 'I know women who will smell blood in the water and they'll ruin it for all of us.' And I was right. Suddenly men with whom I have done business successfully for Years would hardly look me in the eye not to mention be caught at the sales counter alone with me! I was treated like a leper!

I have also encountered the occasional man who attempted "inappropriate behavior", but Firm, Resolute and Unambiguous Rejection works wonders and they've never tried it again. (Of course, I'm not a small woman and I don't wear a target on my back, nor do I exude fear or trepidation.)

It was only a matter of time until all those Men in Power who couldn't keep it in their pants were called to account. But as so often happens with good intentions, the collateral damage is unforeseen, unintended and far reaching.

An old saying I grew up with, "Respect begets respect."
If you want respect, you must show respect First, no matter who you are.
Usually this approach works well for me.

To all men wrongly accused or made uncomfortable with women because of this, I'm sorry it's has happened to you.
(';')
 

Last edited by LnrB; 12-06-2018 at 01:56 PM.
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  #9  
Old 12-06-2018, 12:21 PM
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I'm pretty much on the side of the women in this. I think the actual number of women who cry rape falsley is, has been, and will be extremely small. Being male, we really have no idea the sheer scale of the problem women have with 'us blokes'. Every single one of them, no matter how old (from school age to pensioners), no matter how tall, short, fat, thin, blonde, brunette, beautiful or not - every one faces a barrage of sexual comment, innuendo or worse every single day of their lives.

You may think I'm exagerating or that I'm some sort of kooky 'rights' nut, but I'm really not - its just that ever since I was old enough to notice I've seen the way it is 'different for girls'. From leaving the house in the morning they have the guys in trucks/vans hanging out of the window call out to them - "Oi, you alright darlin'! What you doin' tonight?", they go past a building site, and get whistles from the builders, guys passing in the street try to stop them to 'chat', guys tell them to 'smile', they get to work and the 'guys' have all made a pass at them, I know so many guys who cannot talk to a woman without staring at her ****, and I assure you all the women in the office/factory know who they are! - the bosses usually have a go - and yes just about every single male boss I know has made a pass at one of his staff at least once - and that includes the supposedly happily married acquaintances of mine who have positions of authority. You dont have to be in the movie industry to have a casting couch.

Blokes have no clue about all this, none whatsoever. When was the last time you went out for a drink and a chat with your friends to have an unending stream of 'ugly girls' coming to your table and try to get you 'interested' - you would find it amusing probably the first couple of times, but every single time for you entire life? No, you'd punch someone. Now imagine those ugly girls were all bigger than you, and some started getting aggresive, how would you feel like going home?

I'm afraid that an awful lot of us are in denial, and awful lot need to take a long hard look at their behaviour instead of being hysterical (oh the irony).



 
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Old 12-06-2018, 01:04 PM
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Originally Posted by yarpos View Post
perhaps you could propose some rules for off topic?
Yeah, perhaps they should make a rule that you cannot simply just dump a URL without any text in your post???? I think a lot of forums require 5 words.
 
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Old 12-06-2018, 03:14 PM
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Originally Posted by amcdonal86 View Post
I didn't realize JF had subscribed to my dead grandfather's news feed. How much spam are you going to post?
What spam are you talking about? This article is from Bloomberg News and is very relevant in today's climate. True, there are some ads going down, but it's extremely simple to just scroll by them.
I'm not understanding your comment, please clarify.
 
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Old 12-06-2018, 11:40 PM
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Originally Posted by LnrB View Post

When #MeToo hit the airwaves I thought, 'I know women who will smell blood in the water and they'll ruin it for all of us.'
. But as so often happens with good intentions, the collateral damage is unforeseen, unintended and far reaching.
Naturally, a person's opinions and perspective are influenced by their own experiences....and I respect yours.

Raising two daughters, for example, is one personal experience that influenced some of my thinking on such matters.

At the end of the day I stand behind my original sentiment. There are (and always have been) opportunists. False claims were occurring long before the Me Too movement came along. And social changes can bring about exaggerated reactions which. IMO. will taper down, leaving us, in this case, with men who are better behaved.

Cheers
DD







 
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Old 12-07-2018, 07:22 AM
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When you are not so young anymore, like me, the best trick is: when near women / children in a mall, supermarket, beach or other crowded places: just IGNORE women, never look AT them, look THROUGH them, here, for instance, even at what we call a "street zebra crossing" for pedestrians, I courteously stop, let them cross the street and, even if I get a "thank you" wave, I still wil never answer that. Once the street is clear, all I leave them with is a nice V8 growl. And, mind you, I am not the only one. I notice so many, many other men doing exactly the same thing. I must not be the only one being totally fed up with them and their #Me Too ****. (And with that "politically correctness" in general).

T.
 
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Old 12-07-2018, 07:26 AM
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WC Fields said that the best advice he ever saw was on the back of a box of matches;
Keep dry and away from children.
 
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Old 12-07-2018, 07:31 AM
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WC Fields was a great thinker !
 
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Old 12-07-2018, 09:02 AM
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Originally Posted by Takeo View Post
When you are not so young anymore, like me, the best trick is: when near women / children in a mall, supermarket, beach or other crowded places: just IGNORE women, never look AT them, look THROUGH them, here, for instance, even at what we call a "street zebra crossing" for pedestrians, I courteously stop, let them cross the street and, even if I get a "thank you" wave, I still wil never answer that. Once the street is clear, all I leave them with is a nice V8 growl. And, mind you, I am not the only one. I notice so many, many other men doing exactly the same thing. I must not be the only one being totally fed up with them and their #Me Too ****. (And with that "politically correctness" in general).

T.

As I mentioned, sometimes changes bring about exaggerated reactions. We all cope with the world...and our own anger.... in different ways.

Cheers
DD





 
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Old 12-07-2018, 09:58 AM
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Originally Posted by LnrB View Post
An old saying I grew up with, "Respect begets respect."
If you want respect, you must show respect First, no matter who you are.

Universal good advice that we can all agree with, surely.

To all men wrongly accused

I feel sorry for them, too. And a pox on the accusers.

Let's remember, though, that the Me Too movement is, what? 15 months old? 18 months? False accusations have been around wayyyy before the Me Too movement.

or made uncomfortable with women because of this, I'm sorry it's has happened to you.
(';')
I assure you, some of those men are uncomfortable for good reason: they're own bad behavior, which they are well aware of, and which has been tolerated with little or no resistance for years, is now in the spotlight.

Personally, my comfort level around women hasn't changed a bit since the Me Too movement.

Cheers
DD
 
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Old 12-07-2018, 03:04 PM
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The sea level is expected to rise about 100 ft, from men sweating waiting for the "other shoe" to drop
 

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Old 12-07-2018, 03:37 PM
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Let's be honest...the only reason this movement has taken on such traction recently is because it basically became a popularity contest on the internet, just like everything else. Sexual harassment has been around for ages and just now it becomes the popular subject because somebody came up with the perfect catch-word for it. Think about what the term "Me Too" really means. The alternate "Time's Up" is far more appropriate, but what's the more popular, trendy name? "Me Too", because it implies a sense of recognition, almost like not wanting to be left out of something. So you put up your hand and jump up and down and yell: "Me too! Me too!" like a kid who wants to join in the fun. You're not one of the cool kids if you haven't been harassed or maybe you're not attractive enough to garner unwanted attention from men. Which then leads to lower and lower standards of what constitutes harassment, so that more and more people can join the club, until finally we're at the point where men are afraid to even glance in a woman's direction. Put a hashtag on the front of it and everyone jumps in, just like all the other stupid fads and "challenges" that pop up.

That's not to say that there isn't true harassment and abuse. But how do you suppose a victim who has endured a true injustice feels when somebody cries "Me Too!" after an innocent hug from the opposite sex went on a little longer than usual? Similar to how a war veteran with real PTSD feels when some celebrity checks into rehab for "PTSD" due to "emotional stress".

Physical and verbal sexual harassment and abuse is wrong and has always been wrong, and its appropriate that many of these men are finally paying for it, but I take offense when something so serious is degraded and belittled and used to further attack what little remains of masculinity in this country.
 
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Old 12-07-2018, 03:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Doug View Post
I think the most likely and most frequent end result of the Me Too movement is that, simply, the more men will motivated to behave more politely, more often.
You also fail to consider that another end result will be false accusations. If a human being could destroy reputation and career of another human being with simple post on social media, do you think small fraction of bad human beings would not abuse this power? MeToo is just like that.
 
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