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Official thread about nothing

 
  #21  
Old 06-08-2014, 07:28 PM
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Originally Posted by JimC64 View Post
Where do all the socks go??
To the one-legged people, one sock at a time! I'm sorry, I'll stop before I get into trouble.
 
  #22  
Old 06-08-2014, 07:29 PM
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Do the police in the chopper see me with their spotlight every night and say "there's the guy working on his Jag in the middle of the night again!"
 
  #23  
Old 06-08-2014, 07:55 PM
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If it takes a man a week to walk a fortnight how many apples are there in a barrel of grapes?
 
  #24  
Old 06-08-2014, 08:20 PM
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Originally Posted by JimC64 View Post
If it takes a man a week to walk a fortnight how many apples are there in a barrel of grapes?

5 hummingbirds..
 
  #25  
Old 06-08-2014, 09:43 PM
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I started to procrastinate about something till I realized that there was no rush and could put it off till tomorrow.
 
  #26  
Old 06-08-2014, 10:06 PM
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My wife gave me a strange look when I took the toaster to the garage to give it a service.
The toasting was much better this morning...remember when people used to fix stuff instead of buying new ones? It just needed a clean and lube of the moving parts.
 
  #27  
Old 06-08-2014, 10:48 PM
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Originally Posted by o1xjr View Post
My wife gave me a strange look when I took the toaster to the garage to give it a service.
I'd like to hear more about servicing a garage with a toaster.
 
  #28  
Old 06-08-2014, 11:18 PM
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No,servicing the toaster in my garage. Other way around, it was sticking down and burning the toast so it needed a little TLC.
 
  #29  
Old 06-09-2014, 07:35 AM
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Some useless info for my US cousins:

Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula". And can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, "L.A."
 
  #30  
Old 06-09-2014, 11:57 AM
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Water is 3 days late. I won't be able to irrigate until after noon.
(';')
 
  #31  
Old 06-09-2014, 12:24 PM
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Driving drunk ,is far safer , than driving using a hand held cell phone !!
 
  #32  
Old 06-10-2014, 09:02 PM
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It was hot today, but at least the furnace wind was blowing.
(';')
 
  #33  
Old 06-10-2014, 09:16 PM
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I grow pineapples in my backyard!

 
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  #34  
Old 06-11-2014, 03:18 AM
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Default My plants are ziz high.

Official thread about nothing-hitler_adolf3.jpg
 
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  #35  
Old 06-11-2014, 09:08 AM
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I watered the front and back yards last night, trees, shrubs and lawn. Overcast today, finally good timing, no evaporation from hot sun.
 
  #36  
Old 06-11-2014, 09:53 AM
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How does a one armed man lie about the size of fish he caught?
 
  #37  
Old 06-11-2014, 02:11 PM
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Originally Posted by JimC64 View Post
Upon loading the washing machine ( I'm a new man ..lol ) and being doubly sure to load 5 complete pairs of socks.
The machine finishes its wash cycle, when unloaded only 9 socks ( 4 and a half pair ) come out.....the machine is totally empty, I've checked and its nowhere to be found??


This has happened numerous times, so the question is....


Where do all the socks go??

Did you check throughly inside the washing machine's rotating stuff ? It happened to me once and it turned out to be that black sock was stuck on top of the barrel inside

Hmmmm, you say nothing to be found so far ? Then drain hose must suck it ,what a sucker lol
 

Last edited by Cadillac; 06-11-2014 at 02:14 PM.
  #38  
Old 06-11-2014, 04:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Fulton View Post
How does a one armed man lie about the size of fish he caught?
How does he hold the rod and reel in the line with one arm???
 
  #39  
Old 06-12-2014, 08:54 AM
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Originally Posted by andrew lowe View Post
How does he hold the rod and reel in the line with one arm???
Anything is possible. no arm no leg fisherman

 
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  #40  
Old 06-12-2014, 09:06 AM
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In the UK why have all the fish and chip shops won an award ?
 

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