No burning rubber allowed?
 

I am putting new tires on my 09 XF supercharged and I wanted to attempt to burn the old one up 1 time before taking them off since I never even spun tires in this car yet.

I tried it many ways and it wont even spin a tad even when I race dynamic mode on a DSC fully off"holding it for 12 seconds til it chimes".
It seems like it knows your are holding the foot brake and hitting the gas and wont spin any tires? I did take a turn and hit the gas and only 1 tire spins. I see in the Top Gear videos they smoke the tires sitting still with ease. Whats the case here or am I missing something? I am pretty gentle with the car and only wanted to do it 1 time since new tires are going on.

I imagine that there is more than enough power to spin the wheel without holding the brake - remember that spinning the wheels = no forward motion so it may easily appear that the guys on TG are holding on the brakes. With everything switched off, I am sure I can make some smoke with my XFR if I stamp on it from the off! Full commitment (and a bit of space) is needed, I reckon. Good luck, I will be doing the same when the time comes!

No limited slip differential so only one tire will smoke at a time, the inside tire usually. Limited slip differential came out with the XFR.

Trust me you can smoke that one tire easily, are you using Sport and selecting first gear manually? If not, try that and hang on!!!

It'll smoke, trust me. Even with the base model that I had as a rental with my XFR in the shop.

You should be able to light the tires up without a problem from a dead stop. Just turn off the traction control.

For your viewing pleasure, pics of a glorious XF burnout. And as a bonus, an XKR. You need to keep it in 1st. Maybe that's what you're missing.

And yes, the car does know you're on the brake and the gas. It's a sort of launch control. The revs hold at 1500 and you launch with minimal wheel spin.

If you want to read how it was done:
Review: 2010 Jaguar XF Supercharged is the Goldilocks of Q-ships

And the XKR: Autoblog Presents: Burnout Week!

I lit mine up before taking the dead summers off. Nanny electronics off, brake stand...load up some rpm's and lift the brake and stab the throttle further. If you want to get the hang of it first, wet the pavement a tad.

The article shown was what sold me on my 10 SC!

Ok, I did not try sport and 1st only.I tried Dynamic on/DSC OFF and held the brake lightly and floored the gas. It just sits theres a bogs down like it knows you want to sit still and roast tires.

So today I will try the same settings but click it into 1st gear and try it.
For a 1/4 drag race with setup is the best to be in and for a highway race which is best also? My AMG is so much simpliar and seems to be ready to stab the throttle at any time versus the Jag needing to be in the right mode.
I just removed the resonator and added a X pipe.Sounds wild,I will start a nw thread with sound clips and picks shortly.

For maximum acceleration you need minimal wheelspin. Drag racers use special tires which require spinning up for gearing reasons.

For best handling you need minimal wheelspin.

For best handling you need understeer and minimal wheelspin.

For best braking you need minimal wheelspin.

There is a pattern here.

Your AMG was notorious for very poor handling and tricky acceleration off the line because of excessive wheelspin. To drive an AMG quickly required that the traction and stability control remain active. Even Michael Schumacher can drive a road Ferrari quicker with the electronics active. This is why F1 banned them.

Interestingly, road vehicle stability control was invented by Bosch, a German company, and German cars generally have very poor road manners. Germans apparently like dangerous road cars.

To hoon around is just pointless fun, it has nothing to do with driving well. This is why the jaguar is so well behaved even with the electronics de activated. The fact that you can also hoon around at will with all the electronics off speaks volumes for the skills of their chassis engineers but you do have to work at it. This is also why the jaguar handles winter and wet roads so well, unlike any German car I have driven, including awd Audis.

Yeah, holding the brake and flooring the gas is not going to get you a burnout.

Possible set up for 1/4 mile:

(1) Sport shift mode
(2) Dynamic mode
(3) DSC completely off
(4) Left foot brake and mash the gas - the RPMs will hold around 1500
(5) get off the brake and hold on
(6) don't forget to shift before hitting the rev limiter

Ok,I get that for 1/4 track setup. What about a stand still burnout? And a race from a roll set up?

Hi BgCat09,
Did you ever get a response as to how to do a stand still burn out?

I have since bought 3 new Jaguars so this wasn't needed anymore. I had 2 XFR's and a new XE since and now just left the Jaguar world due to poor quality. IT pained me to Lemon the XE as I really liked the car.
I don't visit the forums anymore and miss yall. Now I have a new i8 and new 750iM as my go-to cars until I fall in love with Jaguar again in the future.

In reality, you don't lemon cars, you lemon dealers that can't be bothered to fix a car right the first time. There's no such thing a demonically possessed car that can't be fix. It's all just pieces and parts and if the humans know what they are doing, they can fix it. There's tons of XE's running around just fine as evidence of that they do work.

Unfortunately, it's the car's reputation that suffers instead of the humans when an owner goes the lemon route.