Husband has been declared Legally Blind.
Actually, this declaration only makes it official, as his vision has been failing for about 10 years.
I haven't let him drive me around since 2013 when he told me one day what he could actually see out on the road.

Last October he came in one day, threw his keys on the counter and said, "That's It! I'm done." He had totally frightened himself.

This Legal Declaration means, even in if he wanted to he can't dash to the store for milk and lettuce, can't go to the little hardware store to replace that screw he dropped, can't go to the post office, can't drive himself to his dentist, his doctor or his friend's house, has a hard time reading subtitles on his 54 inch TV, and reading his Car & Driver is getting Very difficult.

2 weeks ago I sold the Hyundai (which was mainly his driver since Trucklet came to live with us), as I can't drive 3 cars and a work truck.
Life gets ever more interesting.
But at least I'm not bored!
(';')

 

Elinor,

I know exactly what you are saying and going through.

Wife had her license suspended when the stroke hit, Jan 2019. That knocked her around more than the stroke.

She has a medical each 6 months, and so far they refuse to lift the hold.

I am down to one eye, and OK, but night driving is out of the question.

Being the only driver for getting us out and about, I am more cautious every time.

She moved her S Type yesterday, to do something, and scraped the side on a post, and that had the same reaction as your husband, keys thrown across the yard, and me blamed for that SMALL mark on her car, already fixed by Son in Law, life goes on. 30 minutes later, she sadly, had no recollection of what had happened.

The loss of the "freedom, and independence" is a horrible thing.

TAKE CARE, both of you.

 

Such a shame to hear.

Hopefully hubby still has other abilities and skills that will allow him to continue to enjoy your cars.

Not being able to drive must be a massive blow, but may help him to concentrate on other aspects such as maintenance and care of your fleet. A lot of times jobs are done by feel alone.

I do hope that both your lives are still full of the joy that cars can bring.

 

Yikes, being a mechanic when I was young and dumb I never wore eye protection, I ground, sawed, sanded, everything without eye protection. Then I got some steel in my eye and had to have the rust ring cut out. While not a real horrible deal it was still uncomfortable. So I began thinking how many things I couldn't do without my eyesight. At the top of my list was can't ride Motorcycle, or drive my Hot Rod. That did it right there, and I started wearing safety glasses, face shields etc. I still manage to get stuff in my eyes occasionally but the Lord takes care of me quite well so I say a huge Thank You to him. So Sorry to hear that it's come to this. No chance of medical intervention? Cataracts removed, Cornea transplant??? I'll say a Prayer for him.

Jack

 

LnrB,

Sorry to hear about this; it's a tough break.

Please take care.

Wishing well to both of you

Doug

 

Elinor,

That will be a terrible blow. At least he had effectively made the decision for himself to stop driving last year rather than it coming suddenly as the immediate and forced consequence of an accident. Nevertheless, the total dependency on others for transportation will be a very hard adjustment.

My best wishes to you both.

Graham

 

Elinor, sorry to hear even though you’ve mentioned it from time to time on threads, this sounds so final. I’m thinking of you and wish you both well for the future.

 

So sorry. Getting old sucks!
Wish nothing but the best for both of you.

 

Even with the present state of roads and traffic, it's a terrible loss of freedom and fun. My cousin stopped driving a few years ago due to macular degeneration . He's now registered as blind. The ridiculous part is that his driving seemed to me to be way better and safer than the average right up to the day he gave up.

 

Elinor - So sorry to hear that. I hope he and you can maintain a positive mental attitude towards life. There's still alot of it left in both of you. Our prayers are with you.

Bill

 

Thanks, Fellas,
His problem is actually Macular Degeneration, which was diagnosed some years ago, but he took injections (In the eye itself) to slow its progress as it was the wet kind (I only vaguely understand the difference), and is the local Record Holder for the number and length of time these injections worked. No injections for the last 2 years as whatever dictates them was no longer present.

He hasn't been able to even do simple maintenance, checking oil etc. for several years, as all these things are in the dark usually, greasy and lack the sharp contrast he needs to see what he's looking at. This is the reason I was doing these Big jobs alone.

I cut down my work this season, natural attrition mostly, as there simply isn't enough of me to do everything (drive him to his eye doctor for example). But I Love my work, and he doesn't want me to shut it down completely (good thing, I would go even more crazy with no way to work it off)

But, this is what I get for marrying an Older Man, so I have no valid reason for complaint.
(';')

 

Elinor, My cousin, though he's registered blind for several years and can't do a lot of things like read a book, can still see well enough in his peripheral vision to walk around fairly normally and survive quite well. He lives by himself in his own house without any carers at age ninety-something (his wife died ten years ago).

I guess you've had all the standard advice: low cholesterol, healthy weight, exercise etc. Our optician is very high tech with tests (as well equipped as a lot of hospitals) and he said that my wife might have the beginnings of it. As a result, I've done a lot of internet research, and I've got her taking a load of fish oil capsules (called OmegaEye) and liquid curcumin capsules (a kind of extract from turmeric that's probably too cheap and unpatentable for the pharmaceutical companies). So far so good.

All the best to you both

 

Elinor and hubby:

I sure get it. I have a macular issue in my left eye. I have been getting the injections regularly. next up. 10-6. Stable so far, but not a fix. merely stabilized. Cataract surgery in each eye. Much improvement. But, not 20:20; Enough to get my DL renewed I have a pairof prescription glasses that i wear. but, not really sure if they add that much if anything.

Working ths computer is a feat. Tiny letters!!!

Aye on the close caption. My ears are compromised as well!!!

My dear departed had issues the last few years of her life. We coped, mostly.

Al i can do is to wish the best for the both of you. And, I do that heartily....

 

it's another stage of life. Take full advantage of it. Social Security providea many benefits for dissabilities and so does the State of California.
Even free transportation in air conditioned vans! Live life to the max.

 

Sorry to hear about your husband’s vision, Elinor. Getting old is a challenge for many of us but beats the alternative. I was born with nerve deafness so since it is the only thing I’ve ever known its not something I think about. Just try to concentrate on the things that are possible, the greatest of those is love.

Jeff

 

Thanks again, Fellas,
It is what it is, and that's Jussst the way it is, as my dad would say, drawing out the s.
At least this was not unexpected. It's been progressing for several years as I mentioned, and we both knew it was coming to this sooner or later. Even so, and he quit driving voluntarily nearly a year ago, there's something so Final about the Official Decree.

I tease him about marrying a Younger Woman to take care of him in his "Olde Age" and he just grins. (The years between us didn't seem so many in the beginning, but that was some time ago.) He says to remember, he didn't want a cook or a nurse, he wanted a Mechanic and that's what he got. All this other stuff is merely 'Other duties as assigned.'
(';')

 

Macular degeneration seems to happen to all too many people and I'm sorry Elinor to hear it has forced your hubby to give up driving. Never easy to face that. My wife's late mother was one of the best drivers I've known yet was sidelined by dry macular degeneration fairly early on. My wife has the onset of it now but at age 76, so far, still sees quite well enough to drive.

 

As an eye doctor who deals with this on a daily basis, it is often difficult and heartbreaking when I have to inform a patient that their vision is bad enough to warrant hanging up their car keys. Independence and self-esteem highly depend on the ability to self-transport. Sometimes patients resist by telling me that they are fine - their errands usually do not extend more than a mile or so from their home, and they don't drive at night. It's of course my duty to tell them that by driving they are presenting a real threat to themselves, their passengers and others, usually in the form of a child not seen by the driver.

On the other hand, the eye condition may allow for something called Low Vision Rehabilitation, which consists of optical devices, electronic aids, and training that can allow someone with significant visual problems to function in a safe and efficient manor, even getting through the DMV vision test with only certain restrictions, like night driving. I would strongly recommend seeking an optometrist who provides that therapeutic service before hanging up the Jag keys permanently.

 

^^^
Thank you so much for your encouraging words.
His eye doctor, a bit of a specialist, has coaxed him along for several years with helpful hints for what was already marginal vision. But a year ago, it wasn't a child he didn't see, but a full grown, fully ambulatory adult who escaped his notice until having crossed in front, through his blind spot onto the other side of the road.

The mortal terror that it COULD have been a little kid chasing a ball is what drove him to lay down his keys forever. At this point, mentally and emotionally he can't get past that possibility and sort of Dwells there.

He can still function in familiar territory, but increasingly when we go out, I'm sure to wear something that stands out so he can follow me through a store or spot me a couple isles away. He's lost so much self confidence, that's probably the most noticeable thing right now.

I'm thinking he's still in the Adjustment Phase, and he'll soon realize this actually changes nothing. His situation is functionally the same as it was 2 weeks ago, it merely has a different label now.

What's in a name, eh?
(';')