I am happy to announce that this weekend after spending a week scouring forums, I was able to resolve my compression issue. Multiple sites mention the same process but I will keep it simple:

1. Remove coil-packs and plugs.
2. Drop 1 tablespoon of SAE30 (I used Royal Purple Synthetic) into each cylinder.
3. Replace crap plugs with new OE double platinum plugs (coil-packs were fine)
4. Put all appropriate covers back in place.
5. 1-3 short bursts of starting fluid into throttle body.
6. Mash pedal to floor and turn over.

Be prepared to work gas pedal as needed once compression is restored and engine begins to fire as normal. Don't be alarmed at the massive white cloud coming from your tailpipe. It took about 10 minutes for the cylinders to burn everything off.

I hope this helps someone. Also, if you're like me and scared as hell to do this level of maintenance on your Jag... don't be. You can do it. I did it and I feel great for making myself do it.

 

This should only happen on the early 2000-2002 4.0L V-8 cars. With the introduction of the 4.2L Jaguar fixed that problem finally!

Usually caused by very shorts periods of running a cold engine then shutting it off. The rich mixture washes the oil off the cylinder walls and then you have no ring seal and no compression for restarting.
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I also had bore wash, I moved car off drive and a watched it off after any a minute. cranking with wot in 15 second bursts (went through 2 batteries) till it started to cough and found three quarter gas pedal position best till it started, I always let it get to temp after that.