With every other job finished it was time to do the one task, that I had been putting off, which was to take the 'Rad' out of the 'Scrapper'

It's only a Radiator, so how hard can it be!

So with my 3 Ton Trolley Jack under the front beam, I jacked her up then propped her up with Two big blocks of wood.

Then laying on my back in the dirt I got hold of the beam and literally pulled myself right underneath.

There were shards of rusty metal all over the place, so the first thing to do was to rip off her skirt, like you do when wanting to have 'nookie' with a girlfriend, only this time by using a crowbar!

Which instantly sent a shower of rust and grit into my eyes, reminding me why they make those safety glasses.

But the hose clip on the bottom hose was nowhere to be seen, and was so tucked out of reach, it would give a contortionist a good run for their money.

So the only way to get to it was by feel alone, which was the equivalent of putting both your hands into something like a venus fly trap.

At which point I then noticed a small quantity of red stuff running down my arm which somehow didn't look like Anti Freeze, at which point I then realized I must have cut myself, on a jagged piece of rusty metal!

But having got this far there was no stopping me now! One way or another, that hose clip had to come off which with the benefit of hindsight was a lunatic idea, when I could have cut the hose through with a bread knife.

After a long struggle, I managed to undo it and then used the same crowbar to lever the hose off the 'Rad'

Which turned out to be the equivalent of 'Water Boarding' myself!

As trapped underneath and with nowhere to go 37 imperial pints or 21.0 ltrs (for the technically minded) suddenly decided to cascade down on me!

Soaking me through and the Antifreeze causing all the cuts on my hands to sting in the way it would probably feel if attacked by a swarm of bees.

So extracting myself from my watery grave, with eyes full of water and soaked to the skin, I wiped the liquid from my face with an oily rag and went indoors to survey the damage.

When I realized I was bleeding a lot more than I thought, so I jumped in the Merc and headed for the human 'Body Shop' to be repaired.

And walked in looking like something out of a Zombie movie, soaking wet with my Tee Shirt and Jeans, soaked in a mixture of Blucol and Blood which lets face it was not a good combo!

'So how did you manage to do this'?

I cut myself on my XJS!

'What's an XJS?'

Its a Car!

'What sort of Car?' Its an XJS!

'Were you driving or a passenger?'

I was underneath it!

'Did someone run you over?' 'Did you get their number?'

No! 'but it would have been easier to explain it to them if they did'

Anyway they fixed me up and when I got home I got back on the Job and managed to pull the radiator out all on my own.

It certainly looked in better nick than I did, so all I've got to do is swap it over but how do I test it for leaks?.

As this is an experience that has left me sort of Traumatized and wanting to fill out those forms for Bupa!

 

Take it to a rad. repair shop.....

 

He's got the battle half won now!

 

Exactly, there's no fun in palming the job off after all the trauma.

 

Normally it takes a heater core replacement or V12 head gasket job before a fellow is elevated to official "Jagman" status but, in this case, I think an exception is called for ..what with the blood and all

Cheers
DD

 

round 1 to the jag.......



BB

 

Well done.

Obviously the Bandaids I suggested were quite inefficient, maybe Lucas brand????

I really did forget you were in the UK, so I should have factored in RUST, my apologies.

Taking that hose off from under the car, when its still containing coolant, is a HINDSIGHT moment not soon forgotten.

The pressure testing may be a none event, it was FULL, was it not???, as you got VERY wet, and the scrapper has sat for how long??. A V12 with coolant still sitting in the radiator after any standing time, is good to go in my opinion.

 

Lucas brand band-aids have an unnerving propensity to fail catastrophically, without warning!

 

And after this sort of behavior you're surprised that you ended up bruised and bloodied??!!

"Traumatized" serves you right! Maybe next time you'll treat a girl with a little more respect.

Good story, by the way.
ElinorB
aka (';')

 

That sounds like a pretty good idea!

 

Are you trying to tell me that there is more pain and suffering for me!

When I thought that I was home and dry! (ok just home then...)

 

A Radi Hater like me would never do that!

Apart from everything what else could go wrong?

 

What's a heater core?

 

Maybe so but next time I'll be pouring the Water into the Rad from a hosepipe 1000ft long!

 

Hi Grant

Yes the Bandaids were a 'tad' too small for the job in hand and not only that you never mentioned a 'Tetinous' injection!

Which I feel was a bit of an oversight on somebody's part.

But the Rad looks in pretty good shape and was still holding water up until I transferred it both onto and into my person!

In fact its got a nice sweet taste unlike the 'Absinthe' that I have to drink to try and forget this experience!

 

If I knew what you meant then I think I'd agree!

 

Hi Elinor
In that case I'm sure you'll be pleased to know that the trip to the human body shop wasn't much fun either!

Them: What's your name?
Me: Orange Blossom
Them: What's your address & postcode?
Me: Bluecol Avenue XJ Essex
Them: Can you remember your national insurance number?
Me: Yes!
Them: We don't appear to have your telephone number?
Me: I'm ex directory!
Them: Have you got a mobile number?
Me: Yes but I came out without my phone and I can't remember it!
Them: Do you have an email address?
Me: Yes its ..........
Them: how do you spell that?
Me: I would write it down but......
Them: Has it been raining?
Me: What make you think that?
Them: You look a bit wet that's all
Me:I've been laying under my Car
Them: Well it doesn't appear to have kept you very dry!
Me: Do you know what, I never thought of that, perhaps I ought to pop out right now and buy an umbrella

Them: What seems to be the trouble?

Me: Oh Nothing much I was sitting at home, feeling fed up with nothing on the telly apart from the usual repeats,

I don't know what I pay my license fee for and got so bored I thought I'd do a bit of work upon my car and got this tiny little scratch on my hand.

Don't know if you can see it without a magnifying glass?

But apart from standing here covered in grit, caked in mud and engine oil and soaked in Antifreeze and in case I forget to mention it, probably bleeding to death, I feel just fine!

Them:Your Tee shirt looks a bit of a mess, have you tried Persil non bio?

I'll say it for you Elinor! 'And try some herbal essssanses for your hair'!

If I could spell it I would!

 

ROTFLOLOL!!
"Orange Blossom," this is a *Scream!!* Best laugh I've had in a Week!

As I said before, you should write somewhere. Maybe you can find an online venue as an outlet for your creativity. Maybe something like a car forum since that seems to be your preferred subject. LOL

By the way, Spell Checker says it's "essences."
(';')

 

Hi Elinor

So glad that made you smile but its all true!

My hands are getting better and I'm ready to embark on taking the leaking Radiator out of my other XJS and then transplanting the one that I've just taken out.

I'm more optimistic with this one, as my other Car is already on a garage lifter, where it has been sitting since the Year 2000! and from what I can see, there are no sharp edges to cut myself on 'this time' (I hope!)

Though just as a precaution, I've put the 'Human Body Shop' address into my 'Sat Nav' just in case!

We are now on first name terms! so I would not be that surprised if I was not already on their 'speed dial' and do regret forgetting going out without my phone, as that would have been the mother of all 'Selfies!'

Three days ago I connected up my brand new £60 battery! and three days later it was as flat as a 'pancake' which may have been expected on April 1st or 'Shrove Tuesday' but as it was on Wednesday I was 'gutted!'

So I took it back and they very kindly gave me another one, even though I'm suspecting, that I may have gone to bed and left my headlights on as there was an ethereal glow coming from the garage at 5am in the morning!

Before I bought my XJSsssss's I used to have an XJ6 like yours, which was 'sandy yellow' and nicknamed 'The Custard Torpedo' and was one of the nicest cars that I have ever owned.

So I can see what attracted you to buy one, as it feels like you are wafting along on a cloud and even thinking about it now is giving me a nervous twitch every time I look at my check book.

And starting to make appointments that my Bank Balance can't keep!

 

I have no doubt it's all true, the very best stories always are! The art is in the telling.

I think it's a very good idea to program your 'body shop' into your sat-nav AND speed dial. If you have a speed dial on your sat-nav that would be even better. LOL

*I* actually didn't choose my car, it was done for me. Our toaster vehicle is a 2001 Ford Windstar (Wart) with about a million miles on. One day after a Looong overdue service on the transmission my husband asserted he was "not going to sink any more money into that bottomless pit."

When he gets like that there's no talking to him so I dutifully said, "yes dear," and went about my business.

He started haunting the local Craig's List for a suitable replacement; pre 1975 (pre SMOG) rear wheel drive, good fuel economy, and most of all, CHEAP. Over the course of a week he found numerous examples of disgusting vehicles, mostly ancient, jacked up Mustangs with 17 colors of primer (but the body is straight!) or equally ancient El Caminos with similar lack of appeal. Each of these I said I wouldn't even be seen in let alone drive to visit polite company.

One day he called me in to look at yet another find on CL and said, "This is my all time favorite car! If I had my way, THIS is what I would buy!"

In truth, all I saw was a Black car with 4 doors and Just the right amount of chrome. I said off hand, "I'd drive that," and went back to what I was doing. I think he was surprised, but he called for an appointment, we saw it, we drove it, I fell in love with it, he bought if for me, and as I promised, I'm DRIVING IT!! I named her Nix.

I drove her for 2 solid months, 3 days a week until the weather got cold and I found several things that needed attention. (79 items to be exact but at least I get to drive her in between!) and over the succeeding 4 months I've mostly got everything sorted out.

I absolutely Love driving this car! Not only is it like the proverbial magic carpet but it corners like it's on rails and I'm glued into the seat while it's doing it!

I love the looks of this car, I find myself looking back after I park it. I love how I look in this car! I don't at all mind working on her, because she reciprocates with dependability, reliability and comfort. After I drive her for a while, and I have to go back to the Wart because Nix is undergoing repairs (brakes for example), I am SO spoiled. The Wart (we still have it and he's still sinking money into it) handles like a pig wallowing in the muck!

As for the bank balance, that's not my department, that's HIS department. I'm doing the Vast majority of the work on the car and as I promised, I'M DRIVING IT!!
(';')