Thought we could use a laugh.

Missing Four Point Tool

One day in the jungle a chimpanzee invented some tools to eat his dinner. One tool was a flat stick sharpened along one edge, which he used to cut his food. The other was a stick with four smaller sticks attached to the end, each sharpened to a point, which he used to spear his food and place it in his mouth. The chimp was very proud of his inventions which he called his ‘one point tool’ and his ‘four point tool.’

One day he awoke to find that the four point tool was missing. The chimp was distraught. He ran around the jungle trying to find his precious tool. First he came upon the lion.
"Lion, Lion!" he cried, "Have you seen my four point tool?"
"No. Replied the lion, I have not seen your four point tool."

Then the chimp came upon the gorilla.
"Gorilla, Gorilla! He cried, have you seen my four point tool?"
"No, replied the gorilla, I have not seen your four point tool."

Then the chimp came upon the jaguar.
"Jaguar, Jaguar! He cried, have you seen my four point tool?"
"Yup!" replied the jaguar, "I have seen your four point tool."
"Well where is it?" inquired the chimp.
"I ate it." Said the jaguar, smugly.
"Why would you do that?" Cried the chimp.
...
...
...
"Because," replied the big cat, "I am a four point tool eater Jaguar..."

 

Meh.

 

Ooch (not misspelled)

 

Bummer. I expected the punch line of a tool joke would have something to do with Anthony Weiner.