Oh lord, I give up...

So, along the lines of "if you can't beat them, join them"...

Heyyyyy @XKR_kyle what's up, bud!! Awesome first post and even better XKR! Wish I had a car like that when I was your age! How did your big trip go? Hope your cat purred along smoothly and yet ferociously when you wanted her to show her claws! Do update us soon as you promised to do two years ago!

 

Kyle! Hey buddy! glad to have you around! How about a travelogue? Thanks!

 

See post #35

 

Lol 😂😆 amazing how threads come back from the dead as new 😂
I do wonder where Kyle went..

 

So what happened to poor vanished Kyle?

After he drove off a cliff in the Grand Tetons, the XKR hung in a tree over the valley for years before it was blown down in a storm.

His body was recovered a year later. A new battery was installed and the XKR started immediately.

 

Alas, poor Kyle. While trying to save himself from his suspended vehicle, climbed out a window to sit on top the car, only to find that the same tree was occupied by a raptor’s nest. The momma and poppa raptor raised years worth of youngsters off of Kyle’s body, picking away at him, bit by bit, until nothing but his love for that car was left.
It was his bones that were later recovered…

 

As Kyle rounded a curve in the badlands of South Dakota, he encountered an older pickup truck by the side of the road, steam billowing from the open hood. As a helpful young man, he stopped to see if he could offer the stranded motorist any assistance. His heart skipped a beat as he saw that the other driver was the most beautiful young girl he had ever seen! Instant love was mutual, as she had never encountered a young man with such a chivalrous manner and good looks, and to top it off he was obviously wealthy beyond her dreams as he was driving the most gorgeous foreign sports car. They drove off into the sunset and resolved to live happily ever after!

Two years later, Kyle is still married to the girl of his dreams whom he encountered by the side of the road. They have 2 children already, a third is on the way, and they have plans for 17 more. They live on her ancestral ranch in rural South Dakota where alas Kyle has no internet service, so he is unable to update his good friends on his great good fortune. Also alas, in view of his family plans, Kyle has had to trade his Jaguar in on a well used but somewhat larger used Ford Excursion. The used car dealer promptly turned around and put Kyle's car on Bringatrailer.com, where he made three times what he'd paid Kyle, so he went laughing all the way to the bank.

 

As Kyle settles in to satisfied domesticity, he remembers the time he was driving through the Arizona desert at 140 mph in his trusty XXR.

It was a dark and stormy night, 2 am, and he was a bit bleary-eyed from the long 100 mile haul from the last gas station where he paid 5.50 for what was labeled "premium" on their rusty old pumps. Fuel was getting low again, and he wasn't sure there was another gas station in range.

His eyes widened and he slammed on his Brembo big brakes to screech to a halt inches from a silvery orb parked in the middle of the deserted road. "Hey", he thought, "those brakes really do chitter if you try to lock 'em up". The orb was quiet, but he noticed the condensation and frost over it's surface. It was totally silent, except for the satisfying rumble from his Jag exhaust. He idly gunned the engine a couple of times, just to hear them for a moment. Glad he took out Fuse 19, he thought.

"Well, crap. Guess I better get out and go knock on the thing to see what happens." He stepped out, briefly admiring the beautiful lines of the Callum designed bonnet, and wandered over to the orb. He banged on it. "Hey, get outta the damn road", he yelled. Kyle was not one for thinking very far ahead.

 

You guys really crack me up...

But come on, we know he got abducted by aliens from planet Beta Centauri while driving his XKR. They just fell in love with the sheer beauty of the car and decided to bring it back to their planet to study and reproduce it. But as it turns out, when they did so, Kyle was behind the wheel!

So, being right now a few light-years away, I highly doubt we'll see Kyle on this forum again, sadly... However the good news is that, most likely, at this stage the production of the X150 has resumed, on planet Beta Centauri... Rock on!

 

Aha! But....maybe not. Anything could happen to Kyle....

 

 

Kyle would have replied if he could ...

He was only 24 years old when he wrote his first and only post. It was outstanding and received 24 likes. He left Kansas in his dream car, a 2007 XKR for an epic 2,500 mile, 4-day road trip to Yellowstone National Park, Black Hills National Forest, and Mount Rushmore ... and was never heard from again. 🙏🙏🙏

Forum moderators have access to members names and addresses. Perhaps GGG will do a Google search for Kyle's obituary.

 

Welocome my jaguar brother!

 

You haven't actually READ any of this thread, have you...

 

This is the best non existing post ever! Lol
Randy

 

I sense the potential of a totally epic thread.

 

 

Ok, so a serious comment re: Kyle.

After looking at his profile again, I don’t think anything really bad happened to him. His “last activity” is logged as being 19 days after his first (and only) post, which would have been several days after the big trip he stated was upcoming.

The guy was 24 and his car had 80k miles. Rather than any sort of “obituary” situation, I think it is far more likely that he suffered some sort of mechanical situation that represented an inconvenient or insurmountable expense to him. Catastrophic coolant loss? One or both headlights stuck skywards? Transmission or differential issues? Etc.

So he makes it back from his trip, is now annoyed with what he perceives as a money pit, and trades the car in on a Miata. And moves on to another forum and doesn’t look back.

Of course this is as much conjecture as any of the other responses. My point is that there are very reasonable potential reasons why Kyle is missing, other than physical harm to him.

 

Hey, don't you be dissing Miatas...I had had one for 11 years before my XK!