Hey guys and gals - over on the "XK Owner, What Is your Age?" thread, Crispy posted the following conversation which occurred in the cockpit of his XKR:

Passenger: Wow, nice car. Me: Thanks.
Passenger: So, is this like a Porsche??!? Me: No. This is what a Porsche wants to be when it grows up.

And, I have told the story a couple of times that ended with my telling my friend's wife: "No, we were not out picking up chicks. They all had long, beautiful legs and we couldn't fit them into the back seat."

This gives me the idea for a potentially fun thread. Share with us the best "one-liner" you have said or heard about an XK8/R. Could be the response to a jealous neighbor's comment, the old mid-life crisis accusation, or whatever, but I'll bet there are a lot of good ones out there. Oh, and if it happens to have a Scottish bent, please translate it for us.

Come on, join in. Let's all have a good laugh.

 

The best one-liner was the title of another thread--"Is the Green Shower inevitable"

Just kidding

Doug

 

C'moan noo ye ken ye'd a like to hae a scoattish accent.

 

Quote from my next door neighbour (owner of an SLK Merc)
"You just want to stroke it!"

 

"So, are you rich?"
"No, just cultured."

Not a good one, and the girl was pretty dumb, but I found it amusing.

 

This one was not unexpected as it came from my jealous and smarmy cousin the first time he happened to see me in the pristine used XKR that I had just bought:

Cousin: Oh--you got a new car--what is it?
Me: It's a Jaguar
Cousin: Oh--a Ford!

As I said not unexpected and I am sure that he knew full well what the car was.


Doug

 

Parking lot convo:

Guy - "Whut kinda car izzat?"
Me - "Jaguar"
Guy - nods, points to his clapped out Chevy pickup, "I drive the purfeck vehicle".
Me - "You sure do ... if you live on a farm".

 

Hey, you can't make babies with your cousin in the back of an XK. I see his point.

 

Out on the east coast two years ago, I was packing up our fishing rods into the trunk when a local and his son walked by. The son says something like "nice car" and then without hesitation his father says "stay in school son".

 

HAHA, I give my buddy crap all the time because he has a 2000 S type. Then one day were at a gas station seperately getting gas and a woman walks over, looks at what was my 96 X300 and says, beautiful Jaguar, I love Jags and then looks at my buddies and says...... Isnt that a Taurus with a Jaguar emblem. I just about lost it, LMAO. This coming from a woman on top of it. Ive heard many, the you need 2 Jags cause on is always in the shop among others but this woman was the best.

 

The front seat works pretty well. Just sayin'.

 

Well, I don't know and the logistics seem pretty complicated, but I'll trust your experience in this arena.

 

I parked in front of the local watering hole the other day. I don't normally park in front unless I get an end spot (because of my assumption that drunks don't seem to care if they bang my door or not). The kid that bartends, asked my friend "what's that Randy is driving? A maserati ?" I had to laugh.

 

In the late afternoon, a young woman was pushing her baby stroller in a quite tree lined neighborhood parking lot. I slowly drove up behind her, waiting for her to become aware of my presence and move over to the side of the lane. Startled, she abruptly turned around, gave me a dirty look, and reprimanded me "Your car is too damned quiet!!"

 

LOL!!! I agree with her, Gordo. Some of us have corrected that problem. (Rumble, rumble, rumble.)

I am also reminded of a funny story, not involving the XK8, but our old 1993 XJ6 VDP. Back when my daughter was in high school, she served as a paige in the State Senate one summer. Now we live in the most recognizable "upper middle-class" city in the state, and when, during the introduction session, she told her fellow paiges what city she was from, one jerk shouted out: "You're from Bellevue, huh?! What color is the Beemer??" Always cool, she replied: "That's silly. Everyone who lives in Bellevue doesn't necessarily have a BMW. Sheesh!!! - - - Oh, by the way, the Jaguar is green and the Corvette is blue." The kid had style.

Cheers,

 

So . . . the other day our office had a little picnic. As we stood around shooting the breeze, one of the guys was talking about his new (to him) 2008 Audi A8 V10 Quatro and invited a bunch of us out to the parking lot to see it. The car was very nice, big, metallic black, 450hp, well-engineered, full featured and he “only” had to pay $80,000 for it. As luck would have it, I had parked my XK8 in the spot in front of his A8 so they were nose-to-nose. After he showed his off for a while, the only two ladies in the group walked over to my car and one of them announced: “Now, this is the car I’d like to have!! Anybody know who owns it?”

Gotta love it!

 

I dont see this as a "great" one liner, but it stood out for me. I purchased my 2004 XK8 used at a non-Jaguar (foreign car) dealr. I paid cash, but I still had to go see the "finance guy" so he could do all the paperwork - title and stuff. He was clearly a body builder who spent too much time in the gym. I sat down, he picks up the folder with all the paperwork, looks at it and says "oh, the Jag [pause] 'cars in pretty good shape for a Ford". I really can't understand why he would say anything at all. I didn't respond, and I never engaged with him throughout. When we finished all the paperwork, I got up to leave and said "you know, I wasn't comfortable about buying a car from this dealrshp due to its' reputation. But that all changed after I met you". He then got this big smile on his face, and I finished by saying "and now I KNOW that I won't ever be back", and I walked out.

 

Giving credit to "savedbyHim" for this one about the Jag and the headlamp washers.

"NO NO NO, you guys have it all wrong. Your supposed to point them forward, or sideways, and let the cat "mark" her territory, DUH!"

 

being of Scottish decent...I almost understood that!

 

best one i was told by a co-worker..."Can't hide money"