Bow down to me, pathetic mortals, for i have a loud engine
Senior Member
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 114
Likes: 46
From: So Cal
I call it the "Daddy didn't love me, look, look, at me exhaust"
BOW DOWN TO ME, PATHETIC MORTALS, FOR I HAVE A LOUD ENGINE
by SUSIE AQUILINA
"It has arrived, oh feeble ones, the time for my automobile to barrel through your vicinity and announce my prowess—my vital and irrefutable masculinity. How is it that you know of my unquestioned and eternal virility? I have a vehicle that goes vroom vroom!Oh, how I pity you, you mite of a human, sitting there in silence, with no engine to rev. How you must want for power, that which I possess. The power to irritate everyone within a two-mile radius. This sound that emanates from my swift movement, this amplified mechanical sputtering, exclaims to all my undisputed vigor.
Cast all of your attention in my direction and recognize my ironclad manliness, that which is made clear by my ability to have my car’s muffler removed. Were you contemplating the beauty of the mountains? Perhaps you may have been admiring the nimble rhythm of a butterfly’s wings? Well, now you can consider the din of this machine that I own and how it is a manifestation of my infinite potency.Throughout the ages, philosophers have pondered immortality. How might we outlast the corporeal limits of human frailty? Friend, I have tasted that ambrosia. That nectar of everlasting youth and strength. It is forcing every living creature in your neighborhood to be aware, if only for thirty seconds, that I am male and I can drive twenty miles over the speed limit.
My need to awaken you at 3 AM on a Tuesday is in no way a reflection of a gaping emptiness deep within the core of my being. I am definitely not running from the precarity and meaninglessness of existence that creeps along the edges of my consciousness. The nebulousness of identity and all its components — gender, age, sexuality, status — are not haunting me in my desperate need to cling to something that feels real and certain. My car goes fast and zooms so loud. And it’s red! What could be a more archetypal affirmation of my permanence in this universe?
And now, like a child steering his Hot Wheels on a plastic track, I will veer away and bid you adieu, leaving you in your effeminate and pathetic quietude. Until next time, you paltry and muted mollusk. We will meet again when I pierce your soft underbelly with the penetrating force of my motor’s noise. Well, it’s almost mine anyway. Only 27 payments left. I had to take out a bigger loan since my premiums are so high on account of my red car."
Sound (double entendre intended) familiar?
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2020
Posts: 3
Likes: 0
From: Maryland
Roar
The bonnet of
https://bringatrailer.com/listing/19...ign=2021-05-13
might induce the same reaction, even stationary.
And when run hard, an XK or an E-type matches any Harley’s clatter.
Glad to hear of an F-type continuing the tradition.
And I too would encourage some audio clips of exciting Jaguar roars.
https://bringatrailer.com/listing/19...ign=2021-05-13
might induce the same reaction, even stationary.
And when run hard, an XK or an E-type matches any Harley’s clatter.
Glad to hear of an F-type continuing the tradition.
And I too would encourage some audio clips of exciting Jaguar roars.
Veteran Member
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,291
Likes: 1,466
From: New York City
Ah.. the Joys of a free society. Freedom isnt always free or quiet. The right to annoy or be annoyed. In the USA only the rich can live in peace and quiet with their homes far and wide a top distant hills or high rises. I'd support a German style TUV, here in the USA... that's more reasonable to me than forcing everyone to buy electrics.
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2021
Posts: 2
Likes: 0
From: Oregon
Sounds like jealousy to me!
BOW DOWN TO ME, PATHETIC MORTALS, FOR I HAVE A LOUD ENGINE
by SUSIE AQUILINA
"It has arrived, oh feeble ones, the time for my automobile to barrel through your vicinity and announce my prowess—my vital and irrefutable masculinity. How is it that you know of my unquestioned and eternal virility? I have a vehicle that goes vroom vroom!Oh, how I pity you, you mite of a human, sitting there in silence, with no engine to rev. How you must want for power, that which I possess. The power to irritate everyone within a two-mile radius. This sound that emanates from my swift movement, this amplified mechanical sputtering, exclaims to all my undisputed vigor.
Cast all of your attention in my direction and recognize my ironclad manliness, that which is made clear by my ability to have my car’s muffler removed. Were you contemplating the beauty of the mountains? Perhaps you may have been admiring the nimble rhythm of a butterfly’s wings? Well, now you can consider the din of this machine that I own and how it is a manifestation of my infinite potency.Throughout the ages, philosophers have pondered immortality. How might we outlast the corporeal limits of human frailty? Friend, I have tasted that ambrosia. That nectar of everlasting youth and strength. It is forcing every living creature in your neighborhood to be aware, if only for thirty seconds, that I am male and I can drive twenty miles over the speed limit.
My need to awaken you at 3 AM on a Tuesday is in no way a reflection of a gaping emptiness deep within the core of my being. I am definitely not running from the precarity and meaninglessness of existence that creeps along the edges of my consciousness. The nebulousness of identity and all its components — gender, age, sexuality, status — are not haunting me in my desperate need to cling to something that feels real and certain. My car goes fast and zooms so loud. And it’s red! What could be a more archetypal affirmation of my permanence in this universe?
And now, like a child steering his Hot Wheels on a plastic track, I will veer away and bid you adieu, leaving you in your effeminate and pathetic quietude. Until next time, you paltry and muted mollusk. We will meet again when I pierce your soft underbelly with the penetrating force of my motor’s noise. Well, it’s almost mine anyway. Only 27 payments left. I had to take out a bigger loan since my premiums are so high on account of my red car."
Sound (double entendre intended) familiar?
massive Thesaurus to write.
Veteran Member
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 4,110
Likes: 1,396
From: Gold Coast, Oz
Old mate Susie would **** herself laughing at a bunch of high wealth individuals having an apoplexy at her article, which to be honest was probably more aimed at 25 year olds with a fart box stuck on the back of their WRX. The righteous indignation goes to prove her point, doesnt it?
Well i gotta say, I resemble the comment - she understands me. If only I was single. And attractive.
Well i gotta say, I resemble the comment - she understands me. If only I was single. And attractive.
Member
Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 46
Likes: 22
From: Phoenix
Lighten up guys...
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/...-a-loud-engine
the OP was trying to humor us....
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/...-a-loud-engine
the OP was trying to humor us....
Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 14
Likes: 0
From: Florida
If you aren't a song writer you should be.
How eloquently expressed. Now, let's see ya top my 65 Corvair Monza with a Chevy small block mid engine
and cement in the trunk (front) to keep it from flippin over !!
How eloquently expressed. Now, let's see ya top my 65 Corvair Monza with a Chevy small block mid engine
and cement in the trunk (front) to keep it from flippin over !!
Veteran Member
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 3,932
Likes: 1,302
From: Northern California
Veteran Member
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 3,932
Likes: 1,302
From: Northern California
Lighten up guys...
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/...-a-loud-engine
the OP was trying to humor us....
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/...-a-loud-engine
the OP was trying to humor us....
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)