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Shakespear tries to buy an F-Type

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  #21  
Old 04-20-2017, 02:50 PM
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Salesman: "Sir, I deduce that you drive a Maserati. How may JLR assist you at this time?"

Gentleman Driver: "I say! What led you to this conclusion?!?"

Salesman: Sir, you clearly have a markedly larger left leg indicating a notably heavy clutch action, and I observe from your incessant humming that you are tone deaf. The latter being one of the two reasons to buy Maserati's music system."

Gentleman Driver: "Astonishing! May I ask what the other reason is?"

Salesman: "Sir. Other buyers of the Maserati music system are financially replete, but suffer from a shortfall in their critical faculties."
 
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  #22  
Old 04-20-2017, 06:07 PM
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Originally Posted by F-typical
Salesman: "Sir, I deduce that you drive a Maserati. How may JLR assist you at this time?"

Gentleman Driver: "I say! What led you to this conclusion?!?"

Salesman: Sir, you clearly have a markedly larger left leg indicating a notably heavy clutch action, and I observe from your incessant humming that you are tone deaf. The latter being one of the two reasons to buy Maserati's music system."

Gentleman Driver: "Astonishing! May I ask what the other reason is?"

Salesman: "Sir. Other buyers of the Maserati music system are financially replete, but suffer from a shortfall in their critical faculties."
Take that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle! Outstanding!

P.S. To DJS. While I pride myself on good writing, and have read the entire Sherlockian canon, thanks to our F-Typer F-Typical across the pond, now I don't have to! Gotta love this Forum, ask and ye shall receive.
 

Last edited by RickyJay52; 04-20-2017 at 06:13 PM.
  #23  
Old 04-21-2017, 08:13 AM
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Egads, and forsuth, I shudder to contemplate this thread on the Corvette forum. That said, I look forward to Sir Arthur C.Doyle's version. Lead on "Mac Ric Jay".
 
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Old 04-21-2017, 01:34 PM
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Originally Posted by SamtheSham
Egads, and forsuth, I shudder to contemplate this thread on the Corvette forum. That said, I look forward to Sir Arthur C.Doyle's version. Lead on "Mac Ric Jay".
The games afoot SamtheSham.
 
  #25  
Old 04-21-2017, 05:25 PM
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Default Shakespeare's own spellings...

Originally Posted by malbec
Yes sorry iPad changed spelling and I didn't notice.
<Pedant mode on>
You (and your iPad) are in good company. Even Shakespeare couldn't spell Shakespeare. Here's how his 6 existing signatures appear:

Willm Shakp
William Shaksper
Wm Shakspe
William Shakspere
Willm Shakspere
By me William Shakspeare

h/t Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spelli...peare%27s_name

<Pedant mode off>

cjp
 
  #26  
Old 04-22-2017, 06:54 AM
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The roar I hear is not my F-Type on open exhaust but ***** Shaksper, Shakspere, Shakspeare, Roger Bacon, oh, whatever, spinning violently in his tomb......
 
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Old 04-22-2017, 10:36 AM
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Sometimes the jokes just write themselves - William Shakespeare.
 

Last edited by Uk2usa; 04-22-2017 at 10:47 AM.
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Old 04-23-2017, 06:37 PM
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Happy 453rd birthday to the Bard of Avon!
 
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Old 04-23-2017, 07:45 PM
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Originally Posted by RickyJay52
Happy 453rd birthday to the Bard of Avon!
"There was a star danced, and under that was I born"


 

Last edited by Unhingd; 04-23-2017 at 07:48 PM.
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