What men mean when they say:








"I'M GOING FISHING"
Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Means: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Means: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
Means: "The girl selling them on the corner had great ****."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Means: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE"
Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC"
Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK"
Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."

 

Sad but true:

See what 50 years can do?
Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charges them with assault; both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, >disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by Principal. Sits still in class. Gets another paddling at home.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his father's car and his Dad gives him a whipping.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. Billy's sister is told by state psychologist that she remembers being abused herself and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.
Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some headache medicine to school.
1957 - Mark shares headache medicine with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 : Pedro's cause is taken up by state civil rights commission. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro’s given a diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he can't speak English.
Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic >terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison.
Is something wrong here????

 

Some people are like "slinkies"- not really good for anything; butit still brings a smile to your face when you push them down aflight of stairs

ROTFLMFAO

 

Shouldn't the off-topic section be a forum of it's own? This seems pretty disorganized. Then again, if you saw my desk, you'd see the hypocricy.

 

Yes Busjag..............there is in fact an off topic section in the general forum section.........we decided to insert an off topic section within the X type forum specifically for our use...........it saves time having to go in n out the forum sections and also applies specifically to X type users............well, apart from Bigdreams who's an S type user who has infiltrated the X forum over a period of time.
He's now one of us, though I have my doubts sometimes if he's a spy for the other side........lol

JC

 

LOL! you don't know JACK, or DO YOU?

 

What Jack ? Jack Robinson ? lol

 

O this is supposed to be just X type. Whatever I'm here and I'm not leaving.

I liked the what we really thing when we say **** post rudy

 

HAHAHAHA! I let them think it's just for the X! It was originally intended to be like that, but I then saw the opportunity to come on and sabbotage any conspiracy of the X-type taking over the Jaguar World! They were planning to destroy all other...naw they're cool so we can stick around!

 

lol so we sold our stang yesterday. Got 11,950 for it

 

How much were you originally asking for it again?

 

I think they were trying to get 13-14-I think. I'd say 11,950 was a bargain for both. Sucks for them because of the fact that it was in such good shape but if that was a gt they would have easily gotten 15-16k. Sucks because even the 3.8 is a pretty nice engine. My cousin had a 99 the same exact thing as theres. Red, black leather, black top, mach 460sound system only difference was they put a set of 17" chrome cobra wheels on it.

 

Good deal for the car, for both parties!

Joke:
There was an old man named Bozo, and all he had was a female donkey. One day he wins the lottery and gets $50,000. He doesn't know what to do with his money, so he decides to spend a night in a five star hotel. He asks for the finest room and starts going up the stairs with his female donkey. The manager sees him and asks where he's going with his donkey.
"Anywhere I go, she goes."
"I'm sorry, sir," said the manager, "but you can't take the donkey upstairs. Leave it down here with us and we'll take good care of her." So Bozo goes up to his room and opens the door. Everything is made of gold, there is a table full of food, and a huge television. He doesn't want to ruin anything so he takes his raggedy coat off and sleeps on the floor. The next morning the manager comes up to the room and asks how his night was.
'Great!' replied Bozo. 'How much do I have to pay?' he asks.
'One thousand dollars for the food.'
'But I haven't touched the food."
'It was right there, so you should have. Two thousand dollars for the TV."
'But I didn't even know how to turn the damn thing on!'
'It was there, so you should have. Five thousand for sleeping on the bed."
'But I slept on the floor!'
'It was there. Your total is eight thousand dollars."
'You owe me ten thousand dollars for screwing my donkey.'
'But sir, I didn't screw your donkey.'
'It was there. You should have!'

 

Nice one big dreams!

 

We wanted 14,000 which was what the kelly blue book value was.
All in all it was a pretty good deal, I think we paid 20,000 for the car new,...so we lost 8,000 on the car over 3 years.

 

Sucks that blood, sweat, tears and taking good care of something doesn't necessarily mean you are going to get what you want for something!

 

Just sent Race a PM. Maybe he'll check his e-mails?

 

Hey bigdreams he's logged on recently!!! Last login was 4/29/2007 11:20:34 AM. I tried to email him but if he's logging on why isn't he talking to us??? Something is fishy here!

 

Who's saw them chciago bulls!

 

Who's seen the DEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTROIIITTTTTTTTTT BAASSKKEETTBBAALL!!!!????