I'm not sure what site I got this off of - maybe even this one. But as I was going through my electrical folder, I came across this and thought I'd share for those who have not seen it but more than appreciate it:

Electrical theory as per Sir Joseph Lucas

Positive ground depends on proper circuit function, which is the

transmission of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral

manifestation known as "smoke".

Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work.

We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working.

This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing.

For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a

battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery

shortly ceases to function.

In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions.

The logic is elementary and inescapable!

The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one

device to another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterward.

Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for

some time largely because they consumed large quantities of smoke,

requiring very unsightly large wires.

It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tyres leak air and British Intelligence leaks national defence secrets.

Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke.

Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.

In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd..

Also remember: "A gentleman does not motor about after dark."

Joseph Lucas "The Prince of Darkness" 1842-1903

A few Lucas quips:

The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."

Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.

Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.

Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.

The three-position Lucas switch--DIM, FLICKER and OFF.

The other three switch settings--SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.

The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.

If Lucas made guns, wars would not start

Back in the '70s, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which did not suck.

Q: Why do the British drink warm beer? A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators.

This has been referred to as the smoke theory when the smoke comes out its finished, cooked or done for.

 

haha!

 

I need this framed! Haha.
-Alan

 

From an old eBay listing...

 

a shame but much truth,
my xjs i have to wiggle the head light switch for the lights to come on!
and the Hazard light switch will not stay on,it just shuts off for no reason, no hazard lights is looking for an accident!