Having had no problems with the battery in my 2016 V6S, the other day I found my car with apparently no charge left in the battery. It has been driven the day before and nothing was left on.
Connecting power leads at the engine points I was able to open the trunk and attach my ctek battery conditioner. This initially showed one light but after an hour showed an error signal with no obvious charging. I disconnected it, left it a day and tried again. This seemed to work and after about 18-20 hours showed the CTEK showed a full charge. My volt meter showed 13.26V.
however, as soon as I disconnected the CTEK my voltmeter started dropping, like a stone. After about 20 seconds it was at 12.4V with no sign of leveling off. I reconnected the CTEK to avoid a complete discharge but I cannot think what would draw power so rapidly, whether it be a short circuit, bad battery or what.
Any advice would be most welcome.

 

5yo battery is going to be dying about now so look into that first

 

Your battery is dead and you will need to replace it. At about 5 years the OEM batteries start to begin to die. My 2014 battery went last year, the battery you have will not likely ever be able to hold a charge.

 

Sounds like your battery is kaput.
It has been reported many times that the battery on the F-Type can go from "perfectly OK" to "dead as a doornail" overnight with zero warning, and when it does this it is time for a new one. Assuming of course there was no power drain such as caused by an OBD2 plug-in.

 

Wow, I've never experienced such a rapid and complete fail. Still better a dead battery than a problem with the electrical system. Thanks for the quick replies, I'll get in touch with my mechanic.
p.s. I've always stayed away from the OBD port given the problems others have reported.
p.p.s. I also have to thank YouTube for showing me how to access the battery via the engine mounted power connectors. I couldn't open the trunk to get to the battery and I couldn't open my glove box to consult the manual for what to do. Fortunate indeed that the engine can be accessed mechanically.

 

This is not a problem related to Jaguar. It is a typical failure pattern, if you can call it a pattern, of modern batteries. Apparently fine one day, dead the next. I have experienced it on other cars.

 

Sorry to hear about your battery issue. Same thing happened to me on my RR, battery just died 1 day.

I just picked up an Antigravity Lithium battery for the F and it has a remote-controlled jump start function that address the "can't access the trunk battery because the battery is dead" issue. It's more than double the price of an OEM battery but I can justify it with it's ability to last longer and other benefits like "restart". I think it's worth checking out if you're in need of replacing. The place I ordered from delivered within a few days and it took about 20 minutes to install but it was a pain to pull out the battery.... That sucker is heavy and in a tight spot.