Hi all, has car since June 2025. Noticed fuel gauge not registering but then moving erratically, central locking fob not working on either key. No biggy so just got in with it. A few weeks ago the rear parking sensor started screaming whenever in reverse then stopped and the beeps aren’t always coming on. Last week noticed all dash lights stayed on and warning signs flashing up, gearbox fault parking break fault cruise unavailable, car was still starting and running, last night it switched off ok but neighbours noticed my lights on, when I checked, all the dash lights were flashing and beeping, turned car over and manually switched lights off as they usually sit at auto, dash lights kept on and a whirring noise beyond dash and also from the back, this morning it is dead and won’t start but all the dash lights are flashing and got the whirring noise. Was going to use jump leads to see if it will start but thought I needed some expert advice as I’m a nurse with limited car knowledge 😊

 

Welcome to the forum.

Sounds like you suddenly have a lot going on with your car.

First thing I’d suggest is making sure the battery is fully charged and the charging system is up to snuff. Okay, that’s technically two things but they’re related.

You mentioned considering jumper cables, but I’m very hesitant to use them. In my over-inflated opinion, they are only for very limited emergency use, such as when stranded away from home and the battery is partially discharged. But at home, in the safety of your driveway? Put away the cables and charge that poor battery.

If you don’t have a charger, most auto parts stores will do it for free if you can bring them the battery. While there, have the battery tested, too. Our cars are very sensitive to low prestart voltage. All sorts of strange behavior can happen, even though the starter cranking speed seems adequate. Don’t judge battery health by starter cranking speed.

Once the battery is fully charged, start the engine and measure charging voltage. Take your readings directly at the battery. 2003+ models have a “smart” charging system. You should see around 14.5v for several minutes after engine start, tapering off to 13.7ish after a bit.

Please Do those two things and report back with your results.

A little light reading in the meantime:

https://www.jaguarforums.com/forum/s...attery-193787/

 

thank you, I will buy a charger tomorrow and let you how it goes.

 

+1 on the battery. Don't sweat the symptoms. Fix the cause . . . and the symptoms will evaporate. That's the magic!

There are so many threads on these symptoms, including in the Sticky FAQ. A decade ago, a team of us globally, contributed a detailed write-up, lots of pics, and included recommendations of backup 'smart' chargers or battery maintainers to prolong battery life and avoid these issues.

Once fully charged (or not if if's failing) CCA testing is mandatory as Karl advised. On my TTD S-Type (identical to yours, mojo), anything less than 12.7V at battery, or drop of more than 33% in CCA spells replacement. Using the car at least weekly for a good run, or smart charger in between, my OEM Varta expired after a decade with all the symptoms you describe, and I'm now well into my second battery.

Count yourself lucky, mojo . . . when my battery failed it did so with the EPB locked on. The car was not only un-driveable . . . it was un-moveable! I vowed it would never happen again, so I made it my business to master this issue.

Cheers and best wishes,

 

Good plan but of course a near-dead battery (if it is) will remain such.

 

Battery charged up, car started and lots of warning lights on, they all stayed on after ignition turned off and key removed. Popped it down to my independent garage, also found out garage boss has jags, anyway the problem was water in the rear parking sensor box and that was sending crazy signals everywhere, dried out and car plugged in to diagnostic and faults reset. Battery is ok. We think we know how water got into the boot. There remains a couple of quirks that have been there since we bought the car so have an auto electrician coming at the end of next week to have a look for us.
will update but for know I’m just glad to have my car going.
thanks for all the advice c

 

Good progress. Water can be such a pain!