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Jaguar don't list relay locations in the XK Driver's Handbook as they previously did for earlier models. According to the Electrical Guide, the starter relay is in the Power Distribution Box (see item C):
A bit more digging, and I found this pic of a 2007 PDB:
It's hard to read the R1, R2, etc., stamped beside the sockets, but I found this drawing of an X-Type PDB which looks very similar (probably sharing components):
That implies that R10 is inside the PDB, i.e. it isn't socketed. Which probably means you have to swap the whole PDB to change it.
Newbie here, I joined asking this same question. Insane that that R10 relay is not accessable. How are we supposed to bypass/wire switches to things like this then?
Good Lord that upsets me , Cant we have cars like I learned on, one wire alternators, one for the lights, one for ignition and one for starters. Lets just complicate things exponentially. Dang IT
Must be time to get out the old plastic melter to cut that sucker open.