So, after an eventful week with my XF, last night it tried to kill me on my way back from Yorkshire (attended my dads funeral) to South Wales and I thought I'd share a bit of information with everyone, as it might entertain some and it might help others... here's the chain of events:

1. Replaced AGM battery last Monday (25th January 2023) - Result: Car is now a brick, Smart Key not found errors
2. Had local Jaguar 'Specialist' come round, he couldn't figure it out, ghosted me for 2 days and I got annoyed
3. Thursday night, arranged towing service, Friday, had car towed to less local Jag Specialist, with good reputation, who successfully used SDD to get the keys to be found and the car running again, picked up same day. Noticed as car being loaded on trailer, tyres were too close to wear limit for my liking, also discovered Washer pump doesn't work after picking the car up.
4. Saturday, booked in tyre replacement at the only place who could do it within 24 hours (Kwik-Fit), spent entire day Saturday replacing washer pump, fiddling with it, then figured out online, it's because of the BCM issue that caused my keys not to be found after changing the battery... need an XProg device to fix this and no time to do it before Dads funeral, so gave up, also realised had no locking wheel nut key
5. Rang previous owner, never had wheels removed, no idea where key is... rang Kwik Fit "doubt we'll be able to remove them, Jag locking wheel nuts are impossible"
6. Bought removal kit, found out Kwik-Fit guy was correct, they are impossible... rang Kwik-Fit "bring it down for the appointment and we'll have a look, but doubt we'll be able to remove them either"
7. Sunday morning, Drove to Kwik-Fit, guy refused to even try to remove locking wheel nuts as "We've tried removing them before mate, it doesn't work, go see Jaguar"
9. Drove to Doncaster on questionable (but still legal) tyres, with no washer jets and a 2L pop bottle full of water in the back to be able to pull over when the screen got too messed up to see.
10. Went to Jaguar Service Centre in Doncaster, they loaned me their locking wheel nut master kit and a wrench to remove the wheel nuts, no charge (First win I've had in weeks...)
11. Fitted new non-Jaguar locking wheel nuts to car
12. Attended dads funeral as lead car (Black Jaguar XF... what better car to use, right?)
13. Got new tyres fitted at Kwik-Fit
14. Drove back from Yorkshire to Wales, with new tyres, but still no washer jets... thankfully was a sunny day, despite being January
15. On the drive back, the car lost power 3 times, flashing up 'DSC Not available' each time and completely disabling all 'drive' until you pull over and stop, then 'drive' is restored... this is great fun on the new 'Smart Motorways' where every lane is 'live' I can tell you. This experience is what it must be like suffering a fault on a new 'Electric Vehicle'...
16. Eventually made it back home to South Wales, with all of us alive and went to bed feeling stressed
17. Got up this morning and tried to move the XF out of the middle of the driveway where I left it in disgust last night, so that my son could drive to College in the more reliable (This so shouldn't be a true sentence... surely!?) Mondeo ST...
18. XF unlocked as normal with the key fob, but as I entered the Jag, everything turned off, the stereo, dash lights, the lot, as if the battery had been removed...
19. Pulled the door closed and the car beeped it's horn, then flashed up the dreaded "Smart Key not found" error again
20. Checked the battery in the boot and the F"£$R%^ negative cable is so loose I can move it with a finger... last place who had it was the less local Jag Specialist... surely they should have checked this!? Seems fairly obvious this is what caused the DSC problem AND has now caused the Smart Key not found error, AGAIN!!!!
21. Go online and spend hours and hours and hours researching
22. Plug in my new Mongoose cable that arrived this morning (luck? coincidence? universe making fun of me?) to use SDD and find a U3002-81 VIN error in the BCM, as well as the B1009-62 and B102B-67 BCM errors regarding passive key and ignition authorisation...

It seems, after considerable research, that my BCM is corrupted and needs to be re-flashed at a level that SDD can't handle. Worse yet, this seems to be a common fault that takes forever for anyone to diagnose, because nowhere online seems to have everything about the problem, in one place... the less local Jag specialist told me it was impossible to reprogram the CJB for example and the only way was to replace it with a new one from Jaguar...turns out this isn't the case. I'm guessing the less local Jag specialist last week, reprogrammed the BCM, KVM and probably the ICP, to get the keys recognised again and the car drivable, but without removing it and soldering an XProg to the BCM to reflash it, this was always going to happen again.

After many, many, many hours researching this, I'm now convinced (although the proof will be in whether I get my BCM back and everything works) that the BCM became corrupted, before I replaced the battery last week. Replacing the battery caused the Smart Key not found error, because of the BCM Corruption, the Jag specialist plugged into SDD and rebuilt the modules as 'new' modules, which temporarily alleviated the issue, allowing the keys to be programmed back in, but because the BCM was still corrupted, the negative cable coming loose, has caused the car to brick itself again. I don't want to buy an XProg device if I can avoid it and I don't like soldering as much as I did when I was a teenager, nor do I want to pay Jaguar over £1k for a replacement module they should have built properly in the first place, so I'm using a service on Ebay from a company called Pelican Diagnostics, who seem to have lots of decent reviews from customers using this same 'BCM Repair' service. I will update the thread with the final results, probably next week, as to whether or not it resolves all of the problems, including the washer pump starting to work again.

Obviously there is a risk this doesn't work, despite the ridiculous amount of research I've done to come to this conclusion, so if there are no further updates to this thread, please assume I've taken my own life, or gone bankrupt and cannot pay the power or ISP bills, or something... To be continued, maybe.

 

Check your fusebox for corrsion, water wicks up the wiring from the washer pump.

 

Allegedly, the Jag Specialist who 'fixed' my car last week did check the box for corrosion and said it's fine, but I'll need to remove it anyway to do the above, so will definitely check it myself while it's out.

 

This action can recover the keys....
​​​​​​Issue one most common:

Car won't lock after battery disconnect. This is solved via immobilisation in SDD.

Issue two less common:

Key not recognised at all hence no ignition, immobilisation not possible.

This is done via cluster reprogram as it will bypass the key sequence, turns ignition itself and do the immobilisation at the end.

This will also update cluster to latest software, bonus.

Please don't throw suitcases of money on KVM module/keys and what not, I've never seen a faulty KVM module.

 

Indeed, that was part of my research, it's what I'm guessing the specialist did last week, they reprogrammed the various modules throwing an error to bypass the problem with the CJB/BCM, unfortunately this left my washers not working and has resulted in the exact same problem coming back when my battery got disconnected, because the BCM wasn't actually fixed. The specialist even warned me of it and said "You might still need to replace the CJB, as it's 'showing signs of failure'..." this was whilst saying the CJB cannot be bought second hand and reprogrammed, which it definitely can... in fact it has to be, in order to use the washer pumps.

 

Sorry for all your problems and here is a TSB that will explain it a bit more.
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Well, with some help on various forums, some research and one very kind Gentleman from Germany giving me access to the SDD software, I've managed to reprogram my KVM and Instrument Display Panel, doing so caused SDD to run the 'Key Verification' program at the end and my car is no longer a brick! I've made absolutely certain that my battery terminals are on, firmly, tightened up and that the battery clamp is nice and tight too, so we should have no more shenanigans with loose terminals and the car bricking itself... I don't have any washer pump at the moment though, as expected, I'll need to wait for the XProg device to turn up for me to sort that out. Just glad to have the car working again for now!

 

Hi I would like to know the step when using SDD because I’m having the same problem minus the windshield washer need to get Jaggy back running again

 

Hi, i have same problem as @HollowPoint but for me with using SDD i was able to reprogram whole immo thing and everything back to normal except front windshield washer - it's not working, i've replaced pump with new one and i've checked fuse in engine fuse box (F6 slot).
Anyone have idea what's wrong with it? It's looks like some some main module (BCM/B,CJB) isn't working as shoul be but i don't know which one and why
Reprograming car configuration not helping either

 

I have a SDD what do I reprogram to get the car up and running again I need help please

 

You could try use option

1. Configure new gateway module - it will says about switch igniton on, ignore it and follow procedure to pair keys with clicking unlock button. After that you should have control of your doors from key
2. Configure new central junction box or powertrain control module - this will fail but ignition should work
3. Security - Immobilization - after that engine should be able to start

 

Thank you so much greatly appreciated your time to respond back

 

what is SDD

 

Time to do some searches?
Try using SDD in the search box and see the huge number of threads already out there waiting to be read!
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