So I came out to a dead battery. Tried jumping it, no success.Dash lights came on. Thought of security system because It will not come out of park. Next changed battery in key fob. Nothing. Attempted to start again Alarm went off. Disconnected positive. At a loss here on how to get this car started or out of park. I feel like a complete idiot but I REALLY don't want to put another dime in this thing . Help?

 

@DBedward, what are the vehicle details such as MY, engine fitted, kilometres/miles shown on the instrument cluster?

What is the available battery voltage across the battery terminals with the ignition in the OFF position when measured with a voltmeter?

Is the MIL on, and if so, what DTCs are stored in the system?

 

Jumpers aren't likely to be much help. Get a proper battery charger onto it, and give it an hour or three to do its job.

Healthy battery is essential to a(ny) JLR motorcar, so that might become a weekly ritual, even for a NEW battery? Gotten me nine years on the XJ8-L's "H8" battery, but... the new one is already here, 'on standby'.

Lot of starts with short running time, the essential option was a sustainer/maintainer/conditioner class of charger.

Eg: Not "just" an ignorant trickle-charger. but something with a ration of 'smarts', such as the NOCO Genius (I use) or a CTEK (Jay Leno's choice for his seldom-run collection).