13 xf dead, 39k on it, trying to find where i can jump it from front. I tried opening the trunk but the key is pretty much plastic and doesnt have much leverage.
do these look broken? I was gonna change the batteries first

 

DO NOT jump the car from ANYWHERE except the rear mounted battery!
Hook up 12 VDC under the hood to open the trunk or interior only. Then jump the car off the main battery.

Now you have a 2013 are you aware of the problems you might run into when changing the car's main battery?
It's a bit strange and it only affects 2013-2015 XF's? See attached TSB.

Yes you can replace the key FOB housing. They are all over EBay. Just make sure to match your old one exactly.
Not very expensive either.
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I was wondering why is it that these cars have no jumping location up front. I am aware things can happen if some cars are jumped. Most bmws and benz have a jumping location up front, at least so you can unlock the trunk! Even the key they made is junk, hard to open which i have seen on many videos. Just stupid.

 

Unlocked it. Motor does not sound good, dang at 35k. I tried to load the video but it just says upload and nothing happens. Here are some codes

 

Here is a link

 

They do have a jumping spot up front under the hood? The attached is how Jaguar recommends to open the trunk. It's in your owners manual.
The car also has a separate positive terminal that is behind the front passenger side plastic wheel liner. Does not seem to be talked about much either?



Note this picture is from an Lincoln LS.

That's a lot of codes for sure!
How old is the battery? When we see stuff like this that's the first question.

When you say it sounds bad like what? Knocking? Running rough? Smoke coming out the tail pipes?
Your video only sounded like the engine was cranking but not actually running?
Or does the engine not start?
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Battery is opd not sure how old, but car should start with a jump box. What i mean by sounds bad is the situation cause the motor just turns over and it sounds like there is no compression from the video. There are trades if old coolant that leaked from a hose so am thinking a head gasket, coolant in reservoir is low.
engine turns but not start. I opened oil cap and the chain on top turns.

 

Is it possible for a car that has been sitting for a while to have no compression?

 

Spray some starting fluid in the intake and crank the engine.
That will tell you right away if it's fuel related.

Also if you think it's head gaskets there is a quick test you can buy at any parts store. Might be worth a check? It turns color if any combustion gases are in the coolant. Also you will sometimes see excessive pressure in the cooling system from the leaking head gasket.

There is an older problem we don't hear much about these days? It's called bore wash and happens when the car is started for short time and then shut off. The rich fuel mixture at starting washes all the oil off the cylinder walls. Now you have low or no compression so the engine cranks but does not start. Mainly on the old Nikasil engines but we have seen it on newer Jags too.

Why was the battery dead?
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Ya I already removed the front throttle body boot and sprayed noting happened. It was sitting in an older person's garage, he disnt drive it much, just dont know how long it's been sitting. Ya the bore wash is what i mean. Maybe remove the plugs and add a bit of oil and see?

 

Well I would suspect ignition then?
Even with bore wash starting fluid should be enough to kick it off. Yours does not so check for spark next before adding oil to the cylinders.
Can you hear the fuel pump run when you cycle the key?
It's common for a Jaguar that's been sitting for a while to have the fuel pump lock up which needs to be replaced.
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really? Man I would send you a gift if this is true lol.