I have launched this thread in the XJ section, but it could apply just as well to any of the classics lurking out there. It is a sobering tale . . . a quick fix that produced a ticking time bomb that reduced grown men to fits of rage and crying . . .

To my smoko group of like minded old farts (like me) that gather every Thursday to share morning tea, swap yarns and HUGE lies about cars and life in general, I was sharing the story of how my old mentor introduced me to the mystery of 2:1 reduction in camshaft and dizzy drive in 4 cycle infernal expulsion engines. The subject arose of how our XK natty worm & brass pinion drives to the oil pump and dizzy jackshaft are configured.

Several of us were transfixed by one of our number who, whilst being aware that the upper drive socket was offset to accommodate the dizzy drive pins, ventured that he had, on more than one occasion, re-assembled with offset in jackshaft 180 degrees out of phase. With new sump and lower t/c case all stitched up with new gaskets etc, rather than pull it all down to correct, he compensated by separating, rotating, then re-assembling upper/lower sections of distributor.

So . . . here's the point of my post. Surrounded at present by a bevy of weird “no start” issues here on JF, imagine running into one of these engines, perhaps now with your new or re-built dizzy that suddenly refuses to start. Yes . . . I know that sooner or later, you will check that at compression TDC, the rotor points to #1 HT post in the cap . . . but what will you do when you find it is now 180 degress out of phase?

So, ultimately here is my question . . . What other bodges have you seen where someone has attempted 2 wrongs to make a right? What time bombs have you unearthed . . . or accepted . . . or created?

Cheers and best wishes,

Ken

 

HA, guilty as charged.

When I noted that blunder on the Daimler, I simply refitted the HT leads where I demanded them to be, and the car never knew the difference.

Who cares where #1 in the cap is, as long as its at TDC #1 cylinder Comp stroke, and then 5 3 6 2 4, and drive on and drink more.

Same as #1 at the REAR of the engine, why?????, who cares, thats where it is, drink some more and move on a bit farther down the road.

 

Ditto, been there, done that....


Carl

 

yes that reminds me of a phrase i made, when teaching college level engines to a bunch of young people!

have you ever had a problem ,and was not sure what was wrong, so you started fiddlin around with stuff under the hood, after some time you turn the key and it runs great!!??

my response was " lucky your hands are smarter than your head".

 

My 12 jumped a tooth on the jack shaft, waited nine years, checked electrics, rebuilt the distributor, then checked for TDC. Moved the distributor one tooth and fired it on nine year old gasoline.
The day it quit, it would run at 300 RPM. I KNEW it was out of time that day. Waited till I had time nine years later, checked the wrong things first.

 

One of the earliest *Facts* I learned was the V8 firing order:18436572.

In Tune-up class in college, we got an old Ford I think it was, in for tune-up etc. While looking the book for proper specs, one of the team noticed it had some Weird firing order that made No sense to any of us, until someone traced out the plug wires form the dizzy.

It was all clear to us then, if we ignored the published firing order and looked at the block, it had the same 18436572 of any other V8 on the planet. They merely scrambled the numbers on the cylinders.

Someone's bright idea no doubt. I wonder if he got a bonus.
(';')

 

Sometimes you look at things and just wonder why? how (in any universe) did that make sense to do? A couple of small examples:

My BMW can with a strangely butchered gear lever knob, the bottom third of it being cut away. It appears the last assembler got frustrated how the assembly went together (spring loaded locking pin) and just cut away the lower part so it became a screw on knob. Things designed in Germany tend to just go together, they usually dont need force but sometimes a little thought.

My Morris leaked from every orifice. The previous owners had love/hate relationship with the car , they loved silicon and they hated buying gaskets or rubber parts. The owners had also burnt out the wiring to the boot area, so had created some additional connections by running lighting flex through the car to make up for destroyed circuits. Up front they added some items without any fuses in the circuits, I guess in a bid to release more Lucas smoke.

When I first got the Jag the thermostat housing leaked. When I took it off the PO had put three gaskets and layers of RTV on it in a bid to make it seal. Fairly clearly one or more items was not flat. A new housing and a standard gasket and no leaks! a miracle.

 

LNRB;


Fords and Chevvies count the cylinder numbers differently. LF is 1, in Ford speak.
RF is 1 in "bow tie" speak.


Further, in "Y" block Ford 8's the order is "unconventional". They growl differently.


And worst of all. in old flat heads, the distributor is down front, driven directly off the cam nose. Two caps in the earliest, one for each bank. Numbering required translation. A skill I barely understood at the time, and lost long ago...


Carl

 

My first car was a Morris Major that leaked more oil than it burned fuel. I bought in Perth in 1977 for $150 & drove it north to Broome. The first 1000 Klms to Pt Hedland were very expensive, as the Morri leaked like a sieve. But the last 350 klms were still dirt back then, & the fine sand of the Gibson Desert filled every leak so well, the car never used another drop of oil all the way to Darwin!

 

Circa 1950, three of us bought a very much distressed 30 A ford Roadster, or more correctly, most of one!!! Sans fenders, bonnet cover, doors wind screen and hood.
It ran, but just barely, more like on two or 2/12 of it's four. Far too loose to knock!!!
But, smoked like a train and ate oil far worse than Scat's Morris!! When we 'drove" it
we carried tow big buckets of used oil in the boot. We expected it to die "with it's boots on".


Nope, we bought a sound 32 Ford "B' engine. it came from a nice pickup that received a V8. Ford, at the time.


The "B' got painted red and in to the "a" it went. I figured out a way to mate it to the
"A" box. Not a good plan as I later learned..


But, it sure was fun to drive. Raced it on the desert 1/4 mile oval. Never won, but finished a bunch mid pack.


Carl