Don't they understand that we love them? Don't they know that every time we toss up the hood it's because we are worried for them?

• Low coolant level - no it's not, it's full
• Low brake fluid - no it's not, it's full
• Transmission fault - no there isn't, it drives fine
• Restricted performance - no there isn't, it runs beautiful
• Rear bulb failure - no it didn't, they're all on

Why kitty, WHY!!!

(I'm being sarcastic)

 

Just like a woman. You only understand what she wants you to understand, very little.

 

Our cars have matured and have now learnt the art of how to lie properly.

Don’t you think that younger politicians, while clean and ambitious, sometimes “put their foot in it” whereas a white lie - “I don’t recollect” - would have got them out of trouble.

 

I can put up with those. It's the BIG lie that offends. Coolant temperature NORMAL even when it's about to boil and destroy the engine.

Graham

 

Try telling your mot station to ignore the warnings the car runs fine,no chance 😕

 

Sounds like you were a victim of the change in regulations ......

Graham

 

lol Graham not as yet fingers crossed 👍

 

Appears her battery has Attention Deficit Disorder, sending confused or false signals to those who have been entrusted with being her guardian...

 

Should we send the forum Repo Squad round?

Graham

 

That may be a bit harsh Graham!

 

Jaguars believe they have diplomatic immunity and thus behave irrationally without fear of consequence.

 

Hi,
jokes aside the problem of false warnings is driving me nuts!
particularly low brake fluid
there must be a common denominator in all this, my XK8 is a serial offender with one electrical problem following another.
if only I could crack the mystery
im fairly tolerant and patient with English cars and bikes but the 8 has me at the end of my tether
Al

 

Alan,

CTEK & Deltran Battery Tenders/chargers are your friends. Typical signs of a low battery, for my 99 XK8, are in order of ascendence,
1. ABS/TRAC Control
2. Low Brake Fluid
3. Windows forget to raise when I close doors
4. Airbag warnings
Despite my attempts to clean all the connections, if I've left the car sitting for a couple of nights without the battery tender hooked up, these warning messages come up when I start the car. They disappear as soon as the car is rolling apart from the Low Brake Fluid warning which is the one pissing you off!

 

Thank you David, I appreciate your interest and advise,
I totally understand that the electronics in the XK8 are very sensitive to voltage drops but most of the numerous problems I've experienced when driving the car occur whilst the car is driving with voltmeter reading normal ( as it always does) and no great electrical load.
i believe it is most likely a bad connection or bad earth somewhere that is causing them all but am at the end of my tether as to where to look, particularly in regard to it's steering failure yesterday and the fact that I recently had the traction control unit replaced by Jagdaim when I believe it was far more likely the problem was an electrical gremlin rather than a module failure. Of course no sooner was it installed than the low fluid warning replaced the traction control warning.
I will continue looking.
Thanks again for your interest
Al

 

@Alan E L, what is the voltage across the battery terminals with the ignition in the OFF position when read with a voltmeter?

 

Alan,
+1 to NBCat - I did a "sort of" battery voltage check, when I started the car, and "sort of" found that if the battery voltage dropped below 9V upon start up, then these warning messages came on. Not really a proper scientific findings, but I simply put a meter across the battery when I cranked the car. Voltage changes rapidly so the 9V is the lowest value I saw.

One of the first jobs, when I got the Jag was to check the car's main earthing points. My previous experience on a 1970s Triumph GT6, and a 1994 BMW Z3 showed the value in replacing some of the ground straps as 12V isn't a lot and steel braided straps do corrode and their increased resistance can be a problem.

For my 99 XK8, this also included upgrading both battery cables, positive and negative, with copper cables with non-crimped connectors and I also replaced the engine earthing strap (which I only did recently as the right catalytic converter had to come off to reach it).

There is a great write up in Gus' jagrepair.com on how to check your car's ground points. I attach the PDF.

 

Hi all,
And thank you all for your interest.
The voltage on the battery with the engine and ignition off is a healthy 12.69 volts with the car unused for the last 24hrs.
I will continue my search
with thanks
Al

 

I just saw another post on here where the guys kitty is lying to him and trying to convince him his passenger door is open!

LIES! LIES! ALL LIES!!!

 

If my car tells me a lie, I look at it as the car is getting bad intel. It is up to me to ensure the intel is accurate so the car can do its job.

I think it could be worse. We could have cars that lie to themselves and subsequently crash into things, or burst into flames, or record everything we do in them. Those are the wonderful things of the overly ambitious tech saturated cars being pushed onto unsuspecting folks today.