If I was ever going to buy another used XK8 and had a prospect seller in mind, I would first suggest he read the first two or three pages of this Forum. I am confident that after reading the typical menu of a day's input... Like all the dash warning lights, ABS sensors, green showers, Nikosil nightmares, Tensioner troubles, ad infinitum... He would drop his asking price at least a couple of grand.

Why I bet this Forum is responsible for keeping prices on our cars artificially depressed at least two or three thousand across the board. Gotta love a group of guys who revel in the misery of ownership as a badge of honor. That is All. Gordo.

 

Isn't misery what having a British car is all about?

 

I sometimes think we function more as a support group than a car forum.

 

The first step is:
"Admitting that one cannot control one's addiction or compulsion."

If the owner's manual uses the words bonnet or boot, it's time for step one.

 

If our cars didn't have the occasional "niggle" they wouldn't be Jags and we wouldn't love them as much.


Mark

 

You need to keep that stiff upper lip!

 

"Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way." Pink Floyd

 

I've always loved that Pink Floyd lyric. It perfectly summarizes the mindset required to own and maintain these cars....

 

But when they are right, they Run Like Hell!

 

ELECTRICAL THEORY BY JOSEPH LUCAS “The Prince of Darkness” 1842-1903

Positive ground depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of negative ions by retention of the visible spectralmanifestation known as “smoke”. Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing.

For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!

The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterward.

Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time largely because they consumed large quantities of smoke, requiring very unsightly large wires.

It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks national defense secrets.

Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.

In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.
____________________

And remember: “A gentleman does not motor about after dark.”

The Lucas motto: “Get home before dark.”

Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.

Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.

Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.

The three-position Lucas switch--DIM, FLICKER and OFF.

The other three switch settings--SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.

The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.

 

If any other car gives me a quarter of the trouble of the XK, it would have been out my garage by now. And I always thought Alfa Romeo owners were a bit "less intelligent" for buying those cars..

 

LOL....the favorite cars I have or previously owned are Jaguars, Ferraris and Alfas....must be a personality flaw! AND I hate working on cars! LOL

 

One to add...

Why do the British drink warm beer???

Cause Lucas makes referigerators too!

2X

 

Beat me to that one.

I once drove nearly a hundred miles to rescue my brother from the side of an expressway in a MGB. We towed it to the next exit and to a service station where it promptly started. I guess the Prince of Darkness felt sorry for us.

On a more serious note . . .

I participate on several forums non Jaguar and this is the most knowledgeable, helpful, mature and lacking of distracting discussions anywhere on the net. Proud to be a part.

 

[QUOTE=
On a more serious note . . .

I participate on several forums non Jaguar and this is the most knowledgeable, helpful, mature and lacking of distracting discussions anywhere on the net. Proud to be a part.[/QUOTE]

+1 on that.

 

This is brilliant ........................
Lucas Replacement Smoke Kit

 

Absolutely hysterical. But what miscreant set the thing on that lovely hood (bonnet) unprotected!

 

I once owned a 1980 TR7 Spyder - compared to those days, any Jag feels like a Toyota!

 

Why don't they make computers?

Because they couldn't figure out how to make them leak oil.

 

Looolz, great thread!