Has anyone read through every section of the forum???? I saw this thing called "sticky section" and had no idea what that term meant. As I am the new owner of a '99 XJR I naturally went to the relevant section. I'll just have to go find this XK8 bible and check it out.

 

Sadly, this gent is from my state.

 

Shouldn t add anything to that but ,Gee! 😮 .
😃let s get back to the technical side .
that s why we re here for to share and learn .

 

No. Just no.

Respectfully y'all,

The South

 

That's right, Y'all are not from Texas.

 

Funny. Decades ago the TV show Candid Camera showed true southerners talking about what they called everyone (Y'all) and about drilling for energy under of the ground (Oil). These two words were identical in sound but the interviewer intentionally switched their meaning, leading to a hilarious interview.

 

Cop in the North US pulls over a car from the South US.
Cop walks up to the driver and asks "Got any ID".
The driver says 'bout wut'?

 

<groan>

 

Perhaps C19 has shortened our fuses.

We have nearly all the available technical information we could wish for from the forum, but service manuals and P-code lookups are no substitute for the wealth of experience here.

"
Haynes: Retain small spring...
Translation: "Jeez what was that, it nearly took my eye out!"
"

 

Too late and missed out on all the fun again...

 

This is a true story from a business convention in Macon. We stayed at a hotel that still used metal keys for each room, and the key was required to lock the door each time you left. My colleague turned in his room key at check out and mentioned to the young lady at the desk that he did not lock his room. She looked at him with the sweetest southern smile and said "I yam sorry to hear that sir, can you tell me what didn't you lock about it?"

 

Oil get ya coat

 

After reading some truly dreadful jokes, I beginning to wish more members would go and read the Bible.

Graham

 

There is always a little truth in humor, otherwise it would NOT be funny!

 

Just trying to drift the thread. It was getting a bit too serious.

 

We so need these moments of levity now and again. Clockspring, anyone?

 

Not until everyone has input to my new "best oil" thread.

Graham

 

Bacon fat. Never discard it, pour directly into crankcase from the frying pan. Makes the exhaust smell good.

 

Are you using conventional bacon grease or the synthetic stuff ?




Z

 

I had a 3 gallon plastic tub of used peanut oil left over from a 'cook-out' at the Jaguar dealer. We did 'Carnitas' and I brought the large fryer and cooled oil home and put the oil in a safe place in my shop thinking I would re-use it in a week or two.

Five years went by and I found the oil still sitting in the corner. The oil was CLEAR as the fried bits had settled. I siphoned the oil off and added it to the fuel tank on my Ford Diesel Tractor mixed with about 8 gallons of diesel. It was summer so I was not worried about the oil getting too viscous and damaging my injection pump.

A customer had an engine sent to my shop from a salvage yard and I used my tractor to lift the used engine from the delivery truck. I pulled up and the driver asked why it smelled like 'french-fries' here out in the middle of nowhere? I told him it was the tractor that smelled like that. I told him I was burning some used cooking oil.

He thought it was the funniest thing he heard all day. The tractor smelled like a fast food joint for a few weeks.